For all of you who missed the first part of this exciting and mind-opening interview, we spoke to a woman who lives for the thrill of an affair.
She is a wife, a mother and a successful businesswoman who grew her company from the scratch, together with her husband.
But Elena has a secret. The secret common for a large number of married but neglected women.
In Elena’s case, five different men are now satisfying her need for the attention. Just so you know.
Her husband knows nothing about her affairs
Over the course of time, as she admits, Elena developed sophisticated methods to cover her traces. It’s been close to ten years since she first cheated on her husband. It happened rather fast and unplanned, during the office party with one of their clients. They did it in the storage room.
As she had stated, she didn’t feel that kind of arousal and excitement for a long time and just couldn’t suppress her urges.
A couple of days ago, we set up another secret meeting because we wanted to know more about the mechanisms and the reasons that drive a woman to an affair.
The author of this interview had difficulties controlling his certain automated reactions because of, well, the pure erotic, radiating from this woman.
This time, things got even worse, believe you me.
She was approaching the place we agreed to meet at. A small, isolated, heavy wooden bench, some 50 yards from the main track of the city park. The place, perfectly isolated from the view and yet allowing you to see if someone is coming. A perfect spot to speak openly.
It was obvious at first sight that she’s far more relaxed than during our first interview. And, on top of everything, she made sure that the poor bastard who talked to her had to keep his legs crossed at all times during this second meeting.
Deep cleavage on a purple-red shirt revealed more than it concealed. Purple tights and medium-high heels exposed the perfection of those long legs while she was walking towards the bench, smiling and waving.
Q: Hi, Elena, thank you for meeting with me again.
“Hi, yeah, I saw the disturbance caused by our original conversation, so I decided to accept your call without any second thoughts. It was interesting to talk about something that sensitive and then read it afterward. A unique experience, to be honest.
I had to force myself to stay aware that the story is about me. Unbelievable sensation. [she’s smiling and winking at me]” (If you think that it’s easy to keep your act together in a situation like this, I dare you to try, honestly(auth.rem.)
Q: I was curious to talk more about the all of that neglecting issue. It seems that this is probably the number one cause for most of the difficulties in marriages. How and when does it start if you know what I mean?
“Hmmm…well, I guess the decisive moment occurs when everything settles. You know, housing, family, careers and similar.
At first, it is like driving on a fast lane while having cops chasing you. You don’t have time to think about anything else. And that lasts for a couple of first years of the marriage.
Of course, it’s not the rule, but in my situation, we had to work 14 to 16 hours each day to build what we have now.
And then, at one point in time, you come to realize that everything is right where it should be.
At first, you are happy about it, because you did it; you created a perfect nest. And even though I live my life the way I do now, I’m still no different from any other woman. We like to nest, it’s simple as that.
At the same time, as you know, my son got seriously ill so that took its toll also. It wasn’t long before I started to feel, well, hollow. It was like something was missing.”
Q: So it’s not a sudden revelation that your husband or someone else close to you is neglecting your feelings?
“No, no, far from that. We are not talking about those everyday quarrels when you throw bullets at each other. We are talking about the serious disturbance deep inside your body.
It’s a weird sensation, hard to describe with words. It ranges from the sudden acute state of depression and anxiety to pure madness where you have the potential to really hurt someone, and I mean really hurt.”
Q: How long did that initial stage last?
“It’s hard to tell. The dynamics was overwhelming with the business and the sick kid. Maybe a month or so.
It slowly starts crystalizing itself. You are starting to feel that the situation is not fair. But what hurts most is the feeling that your own husband, someone deeply connected to you, someone with whom you shared every success and every defeat, is now looking in every other direction except in yours. That’s a devastating feeling.”
Q: Could it be over exaggeration? I mean, sure you felt that way, but when I look at you it is hard to imagine that your husband would neglect you in any way? [yeah, yeah, lame attempt, couldn’t help myself (auth.rem.)]
“To be perfectly honest, it just might be. But what’s the difference? It felt like that, so the theory or psychoanalysis wouldn’t change that fact. By the way, thank you for the compliment. [her posture and facial expression during these couple of seconds of complete silence and straight looks into each other’s eyes almost caused a low-intensity heart attack at your favorite writer]
Sorry, back to the subject. As I said, it doesn’t really matter if I was over exaggerating. It’s what I felt and when I realized that, we started to fight almost every day.
I confronted my husband with that fact and he was, of course, defending himself, claiming that I’m imaging stuff and similar. But, at the same time, he didn’t make a single move to prove me wrong and that’s probably one of the reasons why I wasn’t able to snap out of it. And with time, that feeling of being less worthy in my husband’s life was only deepening.
Soon, I was indifferent towards entire situation. Marriage, business, family…I was a living wreckage. Even started to pop pills to calm myself. It went that far.”
Q: But what was it that triggered that feeling inside of you? How did your husband neglect you? He obviously was a busy man and probably spent the entire day at work. Couldn’t you cut him some slack?
“I guess it isn’t working that way. Once a woman feels like that, her entire life changes. He simply took me for granted. You know, I’m here, she’s here, the son is here regardless of the fact that he can hardly walk on his own, we have a good business now, and we should focus on it.
I’m sorry but it doesn’t work that way. And even though I was aware of the importance of our business, it somehow didn’t influence me on that level. A woman needs to feel important in every segment of her husband’s life. It’s the way it is, I guess. Maybe it’s just me, but I really doubt that.”
Q: Was he avoiding you or didn’t help you with something? What was it that acted as a game changer?
“No, he was helpful alright. But when we would go to the bed, there wasn’t that warmth, you know. That feeling when you touch each other’s toes and instantly feel that familiar current running through your entire body. You know then that you are sleeping with your person. That energy seemed to be missing. I couldn’t feel it anymore.”
Q: So could we state that it perhaps had something to do with you?
“Hmmm…[long silence and look in a distance]. No, no, it wasn’t about me. I was pretty much in love back then. I just missed that firm squeeze on my, you know [leaning a bit on a side to expose her, you know], and a moment of intimacy when you feel his hand all over your skin.
We used to do that every evening up until then. It was a sign that everything is alright. I’m telling you what I felt. Don’t really know what was in his head.
As much as we are mysteries to you guys, you are mysteries to us, at least to some extent. But the truth is that he would just lie down and fall asleep. And regardless of the fact that you know how tired he is, you are simply expecting more from him.
You are expecting that your husband is always there for you. That he is strong and capable of finding that extra energy for you. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way it is.”
Q: So basically, you felt like he isn’t what you are expecting him to be? Is that what you’re saying?
“Yes. That’s right. Romance is a romance and having a gentle and tender husband is OK, but at the same time, he has to be a freakin’ Superman. Your personal Superman.
I have a friend who married, well, a wuss. The gentle and kind guy that didn’t have any potential of hurting anyone. Whatever she wanted, he provided. He never complained and never argued with her about anything. She was bragging all over the place about her pure luck to find someone like that. 3 years later she divorced him. When I asked her why, she said that she grew tired of him.”
Q: But how that story correlates with your situation back then? Didn’t you say that you missed the tenderness and a gentle touch?
“That’s the problem, I guess. It’s a paradox. But I think that it has to do with the fact that you know that he’s tired and doesn’t have the energy for anything else, especially for you.
It’s a sort of the test. Does he have it in him when he’s fully physically and psychologically broken? Is he that strong man as you thought he would be? Or is he just another momma’s boy?
As it turned out in my case, he was his momma’s little boy who wasn’t able to find at least a minimum of energy after a long day at work for me. I guess that this is the core of the things. Because everything comes down to the fact that, as a woman, you are instinctively looking for someone who can protect you. And that someone, as I said, needs to be your Superman. On a standby at all times.
I have a friend, a guy, who is that kind of a husband for his wife. That’s why I know it isn’t my imagination. Those guys really do exist. It’s not a myth of some kind. And I would kill for someone like that. I have nothing but respect for someone who is capable of working his ass off for the entire day and then, late at night, when kids are sleeping, to drive his wife to a wild orgasm. That’s the man.”
Q: I’m sorry, but there are some mixed signals here now. You know…is it a romance or the hardcore macho stuff that works, what is it? Bottom line: your husband wasn’t capable of providing that for you, as the guy you just described, is that right?
“Yes, that’s right, I guess. But to answer your initial question: it’s a perfect mix of those two but with the accent on a latter.
He has to be a “gentle” bulldog. [making quotations with her fingers] Not some rude bastard, but someone who can grab you, lift you up, and fuck your brains out at any given moment. [any comment on my current state of mind at this particular moment is pointless]
At the same time, he has to have that specific smile on his face. That never actually changes. A woman always seeks for that.
You see, sex can be as rough and wild as it could possibly be. But at the end, it’s that look and the smile that tells you that he loves you and that what just happened wasn’t an action from some porn movie so he could just relieve himself.”
Well, how about that. I believe Elena gave us the core reason why married women are having affairs. It turns out that they aren’t much different from us men.
If she feels neglected or if she is sexually deprived, you can bet your ass that she’s just a nudge away from bumping ugly in some storage room.
Keep that in mind. If you feel neglected, so does she. If you feel deprived of sex, so does she.
And, by the way, no, I ain’t gonna tell you how the interview ended. A gentleman never talks about that.