Depression is not a state of mind reserved only for women. Severe depression is also regularly present in men. To make things more fucked, it is harder for the man to jump back on the track.
Simply put, it’s not socially acceptable for the man to fall down in a state of acute or chronic depression.
Fortunately, there are simple methods — a little bit unorthodox but at the same time extremely effective — to snap out of it and continue with your life. With the entirely different positive perspective.
Contrary to general belief, dealing with depression doesn’t have to be hard.
What causes depression?
Money. Pure and simple. There’s never enough of it and there’s no way to dodge that bullet either.
The modern man is put under the heavy pressure of being a king in every sense:
- You are expected to provide for a comfortable and easy life – in whatever way you can.
- Your image must reflect a self-confident man who never misses being a gentleman while at the same time he is a ruthless killer.
- You don’t get to be sick.
- Every word you say and every move you make is under the constant scrutiny of your closest social environment – both private and professional.
- If and when you fail, you are crucified.
These delusional expectations are building stress. We feel enslaved and deprived of every freedom of choice. Everything seems to be pre-programmed.
In time, the inevitable occurs. Stress accumulates and reaches the breaking point.
That’s the moment when EVERY MAN ON THIS PLANET FALLS IN THE STATE OF DEPRESSION!
We all felt it – without exceptions!
However, some of us are perfectly capable of snapping out of it in a matter of an hour. Because we know that the feeling is caused by the low levels of serotonin in our brains. In other words, our “fail” has successfully inhibited the activation of this life-important neurotransmitter.
Signs of depression in men
- It starts by having trouble getting up from your bed in the morning.
- While under the sheet, you can hear your heartbeats. The pulse is high. The intensity of every beat is almost unbearable.
- You can’t focus on anything. Your mind is wandering around, recalling the past events and the only thing on your mind is the deadly, “If only I…”
- Delusional thoughts kick in. You are searching for the way out in the most unrealistic and sometimes even dangerous ways.
- There’s this unexplainable urge to leave your family and just fucking disappear.
- Sex life starts suffering due to the cortisol overexposure. Cortisol inhibits the synthesis of testosterone. Since you are seriously deprived of both serotonin and testosterone (depression!), you feel emotional – almost feminine. Which deepens the sensation and makes things even worse because you are losing your identity.
- Social life deteriorates because you are deadbeat. It’s not that people are avoiding you. You are avoiding them!
- Suicidal thoughts come to your mind every now and then. You think a rope around your neck would solve anything. Yet, you are aware that your suicide would put your family in even worse position.
- Alcohol and cigarettes use are increasing by the day.
- You start stealing wife’s anti-depressant pills.
- As days go by, you are feeling less of a man and more like shit.
So, how do you prevent falling into a chronic depression? How do you snap out of it, no matter how severe it is?
The following hacks may appear funny at first. But if you can find yourself even in one of the listed symptoms of depression, you better take them seriously.
Dealing with depression in 31 different ways
1. Get a coloring book
Yeah, yeah, laugh as much as you want, but a simple, children coloring book possesses a strong therapeutic effect. The fact is: you are making something. It is rather simple but it’s there and you’ve made it.
It’s a small leap forward from that couch and that’s a great start.
And what makes it possible is the fact that your brain gets excited about colorful things and starts dispatching endorphins (hormones of happiness). Have you ever wondered why you prefer brunets?
2. Create “DONE” list instead of the “TO-DO” one
Sounds ridiculous but it is quite efficient when you put your mind into it. This simple practice will suppress the feeling of worthlessness you are experiencing right now.
And this is how to do it:
At the end of the day, sit down and write everything you did that day. For example:
- Did you take a shower? Write it down.
- Did you go to the store? Write it down.
- Did you cook something? Write it down.
In other words, no matter how small it might seem, you did it thus; it is done and accomplished because every action has its beginning, the middle point, and the end.
3. Assemble an “Easier Life Box”
What the fuck is that you ask?
Well, for a starter, you, my friend, you are one lucky bastard just because you have the privilege to walk on the face of this small, blue planet in a vastness of the space. What are the odds?
So, get a box and put these items in:
- Cheerful and comedy movies
- Crosswords puzzles (remember those?)
- Some great scent, maybe a favorite perfume
- Diary if you have one (if not, start writing one, it will be a great fun for your grand-grandson to read 50 years from now.
- Favorite book
- Other simple things that remind you of some happy moments, even from your youth.
The point is to assemble the kit which contains only good (positive). Anything that doesn’t correlate with the positive; doesn’t belong in there.
4. Save the compliments for later
Have an email where someone is talking great about you and complimenting your achievements?
Save it and read it from time to time. Remind yourself that you are a capable individual who is more than able to provide and do his part in this society.
5. Cry your ass off from time to time
Just make sure nobody sees this or you’re fucked.
When everything seems to be going against you — and we all know how that shit happens from time to time — cry out the discomfort and negative energy.
Tears and crying are part of you for a reason and you were using this powerful tool when you were younger. Use it again. It helped before, it will do it again.
Remember: there is a neurological (biological) reason why humans cry not from the physical pain but from the emotional one. Simply put, it’s just another way to get rid of the waste!
6. Create the “Grateful List”
- The roof over your head.
- Food in your fridge.
- Ability to turn on the freakin’ light in a time when 70% of the entire human population can’t do the same.
- Ability to use the internet from the vicinity of your home when 70% of the human population can’t do the same.
- Today is a new episode of your favorite TV show, write it down.
If you stay persistent in listing stuff you’re grateful for; it will make you feel more satisfied with yourself and that’s the key.
7. Play with animals
It would be great to get the dog but if that’s not possible visit the animal shelter from time to time. Or visit friends who have animals.
Play with them or even engage in a horseback riding. If you are lucky enough and living in the vicinity of some marine aquarium, go see the dolphins.
Dogs, horses, and dolphins are known for their therapeutic effect on people. Use that help.
8. Improve your sleeping routine
Sleep is often overlooked and in many ways, it is a possible cause of your current state.
Whether you are tired and sleepy or have overslept and your thoughts are fuzzy and foggy, depression will hit even harder.
Go to sleep and wake in a military fashion. There is a perfectly good reason why soldiers are so effective. Even their sleep schedule is programmed.
9. Look great even when at home
You don’t feel like going anywhere? That’s fine. But take a refreshing shower and wear something great. Make sure you are manicured and have a proper haircut.
Now look yourself in a mirror and you will see the difference.
Keep practicing this routine and in no time you won’t be spending much time inside.
Prematurely born human baby will die if any kind of physical contact with another human being voids.
We are a species which prefer social and physical contacts above all.
You don’t have to talk to anybody. You don’t have to cheer anybody. Just show up, stay, and listen. Observe the group.
In other words, ALLOW them to cheer you up.
11. Stay the fuck off depressing and sad music
Just like colors, music has a strong influence on our brain because it stimulates not only the neocortex but also the primitive parts of the brain; the ones that had been there from the dawn of the species.
The most important thing: NEVER EVER PLAY DEPRESSING MUSIC.
It might feel like it is helping you the moment you get hit by the depression but in reality, it only deepens the sense.
12. Make the bed
As soon as you get up, make the freakin’ bed.
It takes less than two minutes and already in the early morning you’ll get your “fix” of accomplishments.
Remember: just because you think it’s irrelevant, it doesn’t necessarily mean that your brain is agreeing with you.
One other advantage of the properly made bed is: it is less likely that you’ll crawl back in.
13. Watch TV shows AFTER you’ve accomplished something
Look at it as a reward for your daily accomplishments.
Good TV show will lift the mood but going overboard with it will create a counter effect.
You see, the only viable depression treatment is activation in every aspect of your life.
Hence, sitting for hours in front of the TV will get you in the nuthouse in no time if you are already depressed.
14. Feng shui your private and business spaces
If your place is in mess, that will trigger the feeling of depression.
Clean that shit up and decorate so it would look great, cozy and positive – the space that reflects your character.
The great principle of home and office decorating is:
Make the space in which you want to be and not the space in which you want to disappear in.
15. Improve and control your feeding habits
You are depressed thus, you eat.
You eat more than you want and the very next moment you feel like shit. Then you get fat and eventually you won’t go out. It’s a closed, negative, and above all, deadly cycle.
Eat balanced food and stay the fuck off those stupid “comfort” foods when you are hungry or depressed.
The best thing you can do is to stop buying bread! That will eliminate sandwiches. At the same time, forget about the ordering food.
The trick is to force yourself into food preparation and cooking. That way you are accomplishing something every day while staying healthy. Remember that.
16. List things that calm you down when you feel overwhelmed
But not on a single sheet of paper. Instead, buy a pile of those small post-it papers. Even better make some by yourself.
Whatever has the potential to make you happy, write it down on a single piece of paper and put it in the box.
Whenever you feel depressed or overwhelmed with the life, read one and if needed do what it says.
17. Focus on a hobby which can be improved
Playing guitar, running, gardening, fishing – it really doesn’t matter what it is that makes you happy and focused as long as it is something you can further improve.
It has to provide you with the feelings of accomplishment and progress.
18. Write down the “black thoughts”
Put them on a paper to get them out of your head.
Remember the law of attraction: what you focus on expands.
In other words, if you focus on negative and black, you won’t get positive and white.
That said, keep it short and sweet. Don’t write freakin’ essays. One line of the text and that’s it.
19. Drive away
Or if you don’t drive a car, travel somewhere just to make the distance for a while and get some perspective. Just drive away without a cause. Play some hard rock music and relax.
Men and cars are connected deeper than it seems.
20. Learn how to cook and spend more time in a kitchen
Cooking food helps like nothing else.
It is connected with your primary survival instincts and on top of everything you are creating something. But that creation has a profound meaning because it is the essence of life. It will clear your mind and allow you to reset.
21. Write down an inspiring thought and put it on a visible place
“You won’t fuck with me” – Confucius.
Good one, isn’t it.
Or “Every great thing has its end, only a hot-dog has two.”
This one is even better.
Joke aside. Write something truly inspiring and make sure it is in your line of sight. Make a few if needed but don’t overload the space with the “wisdom and proverbs” because it will become confusing rather than helpful.
22. Eliminate unnecessary obligations and habits
Which emails should you answer instantaneously and which can wait?
What chores and errands can you delegate?
You are living on autopilot for the most of the time and when you make the effort to analyze every single thing you do during the day, week or month, you will realize that you are wasting your time on meaningless and irrelevant habits. Kill them.
23. Go out
Two things: endorphins and greenery.
The fast-paced walk will lift the level of endorphins, the hormone of enthusiasm and happiness while exposing your brain to green colors will further enhance this process.
The green color is known to act as a relaxant.
So go out in a park or even better in the wilderness from time to time. It will recharge your batteries.
24. Plan the week ahead
So you wouldn’t be forced to make the decision based on your current state of mind.
“I’ll do it tomorrow,” is one of the reasons why you feel like shit now.
So get your shit together and get up off that couch. Do something and write down how you felt doing it and finishing it.
Ridiculous as they sound, diaries are great things and not reserved only for girls. Women are smart because they figured out how helpful that shit really is. Learn from them.
25. Define and practice a physical activity you enjoy doing
- Playing instruments
- Martial arts
In short, everything that will positively exhaust you.
Because the physical exhaustion will leave no room for the psychological one.
26. Study your long-term goals
It is impossible to look into the future with joy and excitement when feeling depressed.
That’s why it is beyond important to have a list of things you would like to do in near or far future. Things like:
- A wild party on the beach
- Mountain climbing
- A new car
- Starting own business
Study those goals and even if you can’t do it you will receive an optimal dose of hope.
27. Treat yourself
It is so easy to fall in a hellhole of self-criticism and worthlessness when you are depressed.
So, do something for yourself. Go to a fancy restaurant and order without looking at the right side of the menu; the one with the price tags. Go wild for at least 1 day every month, otherwise, you’ll burn out.
28. Lose yourself in a book
Pick one. Read it through. It will feel like you successfully accomplished something and you will learn the new stuff in a process. It is a great combination.
29. Get active in volunteering
Provide the hand of help to those in need.
Give to be able to receive. Most importantly, allow yourself to receive.
When someone thank you, don’t just wave your hand and say “Oh, well, that’s nothing.” Instead, enjoy the feeling that some poor soul is feeling much grateful to you because of your help.
30. Learn and practice meditation
You have to at least wonder how this method of focusing survived for so long.
If it would’ve been worthless, it would already be buried in the past.
Meditation – when done right – really helps in clearing your mind and focusing on what’s important.
However, when we say meditation, we mean mental imagery and advanced situational awareness! After all, we are not girls.
31. Lean on other people and don’t be afraid to seek out the help of a professional
Understand this: depression is a chemical disorder in your brain and not a weakness of your character.
If everything fails, you are left with the final option: therapy.
But make sure to attend CBT mode or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. This is a set of methods that are far more effective than a classical approach where someone digs out your past and then you talk about it until you reach the solution and conclusion by yourself.
CBT is an active and extremely effective form of the depression therapy.
But before you waste your money on a shrink, think about this:
You can see
You can feel
You can touch
You can hear
You can walk
You can talk
You can think
What about those people incapable of one or more from that list? What do you think they feel when facing everyday challenges of the life? How is it for them?
Get yourself occupied with something and kick-start your life again.
You are a man, so act like one or die trying. And don’t forget to send a “Thank You” note to Dr. Taitz. We did steal a few hacks from her and adjusted them. And we did it because this shit really helps, make no mistake about it.