We men are sometimes so ridiculously stupid that it actually hurts. We think that we can sell all kinds of bullshit to women and the best part is that most of us seem to think that bullshit passed all the checkpoints and has been accepted as a true by her.
As you know, women, they are smarter than us.
So right in the beginning, you are already in deep shit. Try to lie and you are only burying yourself even deeper. Sometimes it’s best to play it like a man – to tell what the fuck is going on. Tell the truth no matter what.
Will you piss her off? You’ll do it anyway but this way you’ll at least maintain your integrity and she will respect you for that. Having a wife or girlfriend who thinks you’re a corrupt little weasel without an ounce of integrity is waste of time and energy for both of you.
And you know what the funniest part of it is? We are falling on stupidest things possible. Five of them are always in use and all of them can be found on a cover page of “How to Handle Your Man” guide for women.
Stupid Lie #1 – This has never happened before
Come one man… We’ve all been there. For some reason she can’t get it up, period. Give it up and make some fun out of it. Don’t wine like a bitch or try to push this one. Even kids know this one and all about it.
It did happen and it will happen again. It’s only a question of when. What then? Same excuse all over again praying to God that she’s forgot about the last incident? Dude, if they memorize anything it is a soft or dysfunctional dick. And the reason behind that effective memory is directly related to the feeling in her head – she is insulted because if she can’t get it up, she’s not good enough.
Stupid Lie #2 – Only you can turn me on
Really? Seriously? You think they don’t read? Man gets aroused and horny every 90 minutes while sleeping and every 2-5 minutes while walking down the street. They know it. It’s not a big secret anyway so why the hell would you try to sell something like that?
To hide the fact that you’re doing her sister and her best friend? Lay low and shut the hell up. More you talk, louder the alarm in her head is.
Stupid Lie #3 – I would wear a condom, but it just doesn’t fit. It’s too tight
Than my friend you fall to the elite group of 6% of men who are armed with 10 inches dicks. Why the fuck are you reading this in a first place. Get laid and make some lady happy.
You dumbass, of course they know the statistics and of course that she take a gooood look at your crotch the moment she laid eyes on you. She looked you in the eyes, measured your head to toe and then tried to assume the size of happiness in your pants. She knows, make no mistake about it so don’t push it. Get that condom and get laid. Better to have sex with condom than to jerk off.
Stupid Lie #4 – Why would I masturbate when I have you
Man this is the most stupid line ever. Who you think you’re fooling. She is jerking off at least once a day, same as you. OK, maybe not once a day but quite often since you are not able to spot those 96 seconds when she’s in for some hot sex.
96% of us masturbate. Most are jerkin off on daily basis watching porn over the Internet. She’s well aware of that fact, so don’t make a fool out yourself.
Instead, start the fire with it. If lucky she’ll make every effort to show you that she is perfectly capable of draining you for couple of days.
Stupid Lie #5 – Of course we’ll cuddle
This might actually fly with young and inexperienced ladies who spent their lives somewhere high in a mountain, cut from all modern communications and information with only one movie in her mind – The Notebook.
You and she both know that once your dick is up, he is acting as a guided missile targeting one of three potential entries.
Bottom line: be a man and keep your integrity. If nothing else, don’t lose it on these five public bullshit stories that even schoolgirls know.