How to Solve Erectile Dysfunction in a Long Term Relationship

How to solve erectile dysfunction
Written by Steven Hawk

How to solve erectile dysfunction – a question many men ask. Cut it off. It’s useless. What’s the use of it if you can get it up and sex your woman up, right? You can as well kill yourself. No, don’t think like that. We were kidding. Luckily for you, this is solvable problem and unlike the main stream marketing, you don’t need pills or shrink.

When you go through potential reasons, you’ll find yourself in one or more of them. Then you’ll scroll down little more and see how to fix it. In few days your lady will be having trouble getting you of her back. By the way, she’ll spend 24 hours completely horny. That’s the “side-effect” of sudden awakening.

The first part of how to solve erectile dysfunction problem can be found in your wife

How to solve erectile dysfuntionIt’s the fact regardless of what they are claiming. The heat is lost and it appears that she’s forcing one thing over and over again. Of course, for someone dynamical as you are, sooner or later, routine will become annoying.

But that’s not the reason why you’re not getting your boner on her anymore.

You see, if you’re in marriage for a while now, you are familiar with the institute of REJECTION and premeditated (intentional) sex deprivation used frequently by women as the weapon to have it their own way. It appears that your conversion rate is less than 10%. In other words, from 100 sex requests issued to your wife, she’ll approve 10 or less of them.

They just don’t think about sex in a way we are. Frequency is same but the level of lust is different.

After a while, your brain starts anticipating the rejection, and this is when problem starts.

It’s the “loop of habit.” The analogy — not the greatest but still — is the lab test made on rats to examine the loop of habit. Rat would be released into the maze after door opens (SIGN). The high-pitch sound would follow the door opening. Animal would run (ROUTINE ACTION) to the treat placed in the maze in anticipation of REWARD. But before rat would reach it, small electrical discharge would be released that causes discomfort at the rat (PUNISHMENT). In experiment preceding the one with the sound, rat would be released but without any kind of sound signal. Door opening served as the SIGN to anticipate the reward so animal would run (ROUTINE ACTION) to feast on the treat (REWARD).

Next time they would sound that familiar you’ll-get-electrocuted alarm, rat would stand still. Animal learned. It would even hold for a second after door opens to check the environment (anticipation of potential danger in form of the high-pitch sound.)

Same is happening in your brain. In the beginning of your relationship, every time you see the wife’s hot ass (SIGN) for example, you approach and start harassing that juicy butt (ROUTINE ACTION.) She succumbs to your unbelievable skills of the superior player and you two end up having sex (REWARD.)

After a while, she changes her behavior (while you’re not doing any changes) and when you see her ass moving (SIGN), you run towards the ass in anticipation of the reward to do your ROUTINE ACTION, only this time you see the fangs (PUNISHMENT.) So, just like that little poor rat, you stand still.

If ratio is leaning more towards the fangs (PUNISHMENT), your brain will override your initial desire before you even realize it. Just give it some time.

It takes hardcore persistence to deal with the unbelievable number of rejection average man experience over the course of 5, 10, 15 and more years of marriage. Nobody is giving us credit for that and it’s the number one reason why we cheat on our wives.

Because, you have a loop of habit again. Your brain is a simple fellow who doesn’t like to spend too much energy on anything and who tends to simplify things on every occasion. So if you are having a clear signal from some lady that sex is the option every time you two meet, brain will restructure your working memory a bit. Wife = PUNISHMENT; mistress = REWARD. And we are not even talking about the actual event of having sex with that hot stranger. It’s just the anticipation.

So every next rejection will be met by you with the added anger because you know that there’s someone out there who’d let you in without efforts. It makes you question the purpose of your relationship. More you’re thinking about it, less you’re attracted to your wife.

It takes 180° behavioral turn on your wife’s side to change the things. And in most cases that happens only after the wife smells potential fault play. All of the sudden, she’s perky and willing to put out in public place if needed. She feels threatened.

But your brain is still under the influence of the past. It cannot adjust the loop of habit in such a short notice. And that causes the issue. She wants you, she’s naked, and she’s ready; only your dick seems to not be interested.

That’s the tragedy of being a married man. You’re forced to deal with rejections year after a year. It’s only natural “because women are different.” And then you say no just once, and the whole hell breaks loose.


Solution – how to solve erectile dysfunction

Start explaining the loop of habit and be prepared for some rough times because there’s no way in hell that she’ll accept the responsibility. She just doesn’t give a fuck. If you won’t fuck her, three other guys will, make no mistakes about that, she’ll tell you.

Slowly, she’ll start getting the picture. Her behavior will change because she’ll start Googling and whether she likes it or not, she’ll stumble upon life stories where women are crying over their destinies because their husbands left them for some young waitresses.

Now she’ll become aggressive. She’ll start with sexy outfit and all sorts of things to get you to “love her again!” Yes, that’s it. This is the first time she got rejected and it doesn’t feel good. In her mind, you don’t love her anymore. At best, you don’t find her sexy enough to get your hard on.

Her raising frustration will peak with the fight you two will have. She’ll be sure that you’re screwing behind her back.

Your job is to explain the loop of habit again and to tell her to back off for a while to give time to your brain to adjust the system.

There’s no way around this. Whatever you’re forcing, that won’t work.

But as we said, this is only one part of the problem. It’s not entirely her fault that you can’t get it up.


The second part of the erectile dysfunction problem is you

Sure your overall fitness and the fact that you’re not in the shape are the factors adding to your problem, but as you’ll see, it’s not the biggest issue. Either way, do something about that belly and the fact that you can’t even walk faster without losing the breath. Erectile dysfunction will be the least of your worries if you continue down this road. Trust me, there’s nothing sexy in nurses when they are sticking up and pulling out the catheter while you’re lying in bed connected to all those monitors.

But there’s something else that’s been causing the problem, along with loop of habit and stamina.

In case you’ve missed to notice, your behavior has changed. If you’re around 35+ and married with the children, your focus is changing. You’re becoming ever more obsessed with money and success. If not that, then it’s something else that you’ve been dreaming of for a while now.

The truth is: it can completely take you over from time to time.

The funny thing is that every time you spend the last atom of your energy, wife is ready to have sex at 1 a.m. No matter how hard would you like to sex her up, there’s nothing left in your body for that one extra effort. You wanna sleep just like she wants for the most of the year. It seems like she can sense that you’re tired and using the circumstances to have some additional artillery.

Now it has nothing to do with the loop of habit because it’s been a while since you had sex. Perhaps even few weeks. So you should be in a good mood for it, wouldn’t you?

No sex meant porns and masturbation

Add increased energy consumption on account of career or any other type of success pursuit and you have a recipe for disaster. Every man has limits. Since you’re not drug abuser, you’re relying on common energy sources.

But there’s another dimension of the entire problem.

Thinking process consumes 30% of the entire energy potential in every given moment. That’s a lot, considering the fact that brain can only utilize glucose for the energy production. Everything else collects as the fat.

It’s not like running or doing some hard labor. You can bust your ballz for 9 straight hours and still fuck like maniac. You’re using the muscles and body equalizes the metabolism of different nutrient.

Start complex thinking process, and things won’t be that sweet and easy. In many ways, mental efforts are much harder than physical one. If nothing else, there are consequences – soft dick issue or no erection at all.

This is not only because you’re burning glucose on a fast rate but also because you’re spending your day in most unnatural way from the perspective of human body – you’re sitting.

There’s a link between long hours sitting and erectile dysfunction, remember that.

On top of everything, every day or so, you play some porn and compensate for not having sex. Not only that it drains your raw sexual potentials but you’re also exposed to unnatural scenes of sex. Like it or not, you’re expecting that your wife looks and performs same as your favorite porn star. It doesn’t matter that you’re well aware of the fact that it’s impossible. You don’t have control over your every mechanism. Some things are occurring automatically, without your direct influence.

In retrospective, these are individual causes for your acute erectile dysfunction:

  • negative loop of habit caused by years of rejections
  • low stamina and poor overall fitness of your body
  • highly questionable dieting habits
  • tendency for overuse of alcohol, certain pain killers and tobacco
  • unrealistic expectations derived from all those porns you’ve been watching
  • frequent masturbation which, in your age, simply doesn’t provide enough time for your body to regenerate
  • frequent masturbation which, in your age, makes your dick less sensitive since you’re applying much harder pressure on it than vagina can produce
  • obvious signals from another woman that she’s open for immediate access
  • excessive energy consumption due to advanced thinking processes in pursuit for some goal causing chronic fatigue
  • sitting for hours
  • every other negativism you’re facing with in your relationship and professional life because it causes the negative stress and puts your body under the influence of cortisol – known inhibitor of every secondary mechanism (sex is secondary mechanism; only survival mechanisms are primary.)


Cumulative effect of all these factors has led you to the point where you can’t get it up once, twice or even more times. And in each of these tragic mishaps, it was your wife that ended up sexually dissatisfied; along with you of course.  


Well, to tell you the truth, you don’t have to be Albert freakin’ Einstein to figure out what has to change if you want to keep your wife sexually satisfied and subsequently save your marriage.

You’ll need to:

  1. stop watching porns
  2. stop masturbating
  3. stop thinking about other women
  4. cut your working hours by at least 20% through smart time management and re-scheduling
  5. do something about your overall fitness


Just try to manage your day in more efficient way. It just may be that you want everything right now. That puts you under the immense pressure. Just re-manage and prioritize. Don’t try to do everything that comes to you mind right away. Life is short, that’s undisputable truth, and it seems like there’s more to do than there’s time for it. But you can do shit about it. Something has to go if you want perfect balance (that means if you wanna prevent your wife fucking around behind your back!)

Take the day off and think about your priorities. If your marriage and wife’s utmost satisfaction is one of those priorities, stop looking at it as the problem but as the challenge. Focus on it and you’ll equalize your life in no time. You won’t be the first one doing it also.

Remember: who wants finds the way and who doesn’t want, find an excuse. 

About the author

Steven Hawk