Screw the meditation. That’s the de-stressor for girls and pussies. We’re talking about the real ways to reduce the anxiety you’re experiencing at work.
For that purpose, we have 5 perfectly men-optimized de-stress tactics and strategies and they can be applied to any kind of stress; not only the work-related one.
The best part?
All 5 are proven to work and you’re gonna love them all. That’s the perfect mixture, isn’t it? Yeah, baby!
Let’s bust the stress. On 3…2…1 go!
DE-STRESSOR #1 – More sex to induce the optimal chemical balance in your brain
It’s the number one on the list because it’s the #1 in general. Nothing can restore the optimal chemical balance like 20 minutes of rough, animal sex where both parties enjoy equally.
We’re not talking about $200/hour hooker here. We’re talking about having sex at least twice per week with the woman you love and who loves you back.
But not just “to fill in the form.” If that’s the case, better skip it entirely. Pull the headache card if you’re not into it.
Sex and orgasm are re-enforcing the proper balance of neuroreceptors (chemicals/hormones) and you feel just fine again. But only if you feel the exchange of the oxytocin and that can happen when two people are bonded. It’s what creates the relationship.
DE-STRESSOR #2 – Bourbon & Cigar along with Beethoven as the reward at the end of the day
Don’t go fucking cheap here. Make sure that you drink only the XO and smoke only the best tobacco leafs. It’s the moment of hedonism where you should be all alone for at least half an hour in some big ass chair.
When there is no chance for intensive sex, this is the only adequate substitute to relax on short notice.
The best thing you can do is to create your space within your home. It doesn’t have to be large. You only need space for the mp3 player, big chair and preferably a cooler for the bourbon. Also, make sure to have the top-notch humidor for your top shit cigars.
These details are, in fact, what adds to the experience.
You know that the liquid you’re just pouring into your mouth costs like a smaller car. You know that you can’t find the better tobacco. It’s all here from you, by you for you. The ultimate moments of hedonism.
Don’t fool yourself; you need it. You need some alone time because you’re not the mother. You’re not the nester. You’re the hunter who only truly enjoys when alone and on the move in complete silence.
So make sure nobody disturbs your “meditation.”
DE-STRESSOR #3 – Call the bluff next time and every time from that moment on
We ain’t talking about the poker here, so don’t confuse it. We’re talking about those pricks that have been pushing you for quite some time, including but not limited to your boss. We’re talking about those tiny little insults and provocations that have only one intention: to put your down.
They are like little kids, as Collins once said. They’ll keep pushing the remote off the desk until you show them the teeth and brutal reaction. Only then, they will retreat and probably find someone else to pick on.
And that’s the moment you are waiting for.
As soon as they lock on to a new target, you’ll show up and respond with the excessive brutality. This is what acts as a relief valve.
Because you’re doing good for someone else by exposing yourself. That’s heroism, my man, and nothing comes even near to the sensation when you know how people admire and respect you. You’re their leader.
DE-STRESSOR #4 – Stand your ground. Respond with the fury of God.
Don’t cave in and don’t back down. If it calls for the bloodshed, shed it, goddammit. You’ll feel the sudden increase of self-confidence regardless of the outcome. Just the fact that you didn’t retreat but fought for your cause will create that fulfilling effect.
You’re the man. Thus, it’s against the pure logic to back down if you don’t intend to regroup and attack again. Remember that.
By doing the opposite, you’re wreaking havoc inside your mind because your brain is confused.
Just try it at least once. Put your fist down and make your piece with the potential consequences. It will do wonders for your well-being.
DE-STRESSOR #5 – Sign in for a tactical course
Firing automatic weapon during the tactical training is pure ADRENALINE. The effect is similar to the one you can achieve with extremely hot and passionate sex. Only, in case of a tactical course, you’ll be draining a far more of your energy for both physical and mental tasks.
We’re not talking about a boot camp here. Google it and you’ll see the difference. This is the more antiterrorist type of thing with the urban combat training.
Give it a shot. It does fill the batteries like sex.
OK, folks. I don’t think there is anything else with the similar efficiency but you know me. I’m an open-minded person who will take criticism and always strive to learn something new.
So feel free to make your suggestions. Enrich us all through your own experience or a theory (which might be even better because we can test it).