How sure are you in 5 major decisions you are about to make? What if your choice turns out to be wrong? Learn how to get it right – every time.
Unfortunately, we men are notorious for making the wrong decisions due to our tendency toward reckless behavior. Is it that childhood spirit or lack of experience, it’s completely irrelevant because when the time comes, all eyes are on us.
There’s a concept we all need to remember and understand. In return, that new knowledge will radically improve the efficiency of our decisions.
Patterns
Patterns, in a sense of the human behavior, are the groups of repeated actions and responses, common for a specific situation or the event, shared by every human being on this planet, mostly caused by the set of habits or automated responses on a certain request (stimulus).
In case of our 5 major groups of decisions, there are two types of those patterns.
One is right.
The other is wrong.
For example, successful leaders owe their success to their ability to make the right decisions in most of the cases. And they are able to do it because they are always taking patterns of behavior in consideration prior to making a decision.
In other words, no matter how random the world might appear to us, it’s critical to grasp that nothing happens by accident because every event has its action and inevitable reaction. In most of the cases, the event gets triggered by human interference.
Our 5 groups of decisions contain choices that make the difference between success and fail; between feeling miserable and good about yourself, and between living happy or like crap.
The best part? We are making them daily!
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You turned left instead of right or CHOOSING
It was clear as a whistle that you should have taken the left turn. But in the moment you were making that decision, the right turn simply made more sense.
How could you be that wrong?
There are two possible causes:
- Extremely fast but essentially wrong thinking.
- Lack of experience.
Playing on a hunch, when you are not experienced in a certain matter, is more likely to cause the wrong decision. But when you allow some time to pass, while focusing on a problem in front of you, you will allow your logical thinking process to step in, which makes even the less experienced person gets it right.
But perhaps the biggest reason why many of us are turning left even though we know how there’s nothing there is the fear of the unknown.
We are not entirely sure what is waiting for us if we turn right since we’ve never been there. It’s a mystery. So we never turn right.
Why do we expect to gain experience then?
Until, one day, you finally say, “Here goes nothing,” and turn right, just to experience the world of opportunities you’ve never been introduced to before.
THUS, THE RIGHT DECISION WOULD BE:
To take a single turn in the opposite direction from the usual. That’s all it takes.
You stood still instead of making a move or the infamous STATUS QUO
Because it seemed that making a move is simply too risky in that moment. So now, you are busting your ballz over a wasted opportunity. Consequently, the entire set of future decisions is based on that wrong one.
It’s the common scenario for the vast majority of men, who are simply refusing to leave the shelter of their delusional comfort zones. They are staying still in a moving environment, allowing the current of the environment to randomly slam them against the rocky banks.
The only way to survive in a random, inherently unpredictable and dynamical system is for your own micro-system to move faster.
For example, Frank made $100K last month. You made $7K, top.
Where that difference came from given the fact that you two share almost identical DNA and that you were both born on this same planet?
Frank made a move.
You stood still.
His action triggered the inevitable reaction.
Unlike him, you didn’t produce any kind of force that would generate motion. It’s Newton’s Third Law.
In other words, the more successful hunter is the one who is pursuing the game and not the one who is trying to ambush it.
That same paradigm can be applied to every aspect of our lives.
But for some strange reason, nature’s greatest predator is hiding from the prey.
Most of us are setting the ambush, waiting for something to drop from the sky, even though our experience has already taught us that it won’t happen, At least not in this environment.
But we crunch down anyway, hoping for the best, while in reality, we were heavily relying on the luck. And relying on the luck is nothing more but relying on a random, uncontrolled system.
Old Frank, on the other hand, had learned from that same experience. Thus, he decided to keep changing his environment to remove “luck” from the equation.
Hence, he’s choosing intention.
That small change in a way we engage our environment is increasing our odds, giving us an advantage.
Remember: it’s physically impossible for your team to win if they are persistently staying in defensive position. Even a military has the saying, “The best defense is a top offense.”
What are you waiting for?
THUS, THE RIGHT DECISION WOULD BE:
To be dynamical at all times thus, keeping yourself on the move. And most importantly, to be on offense rather than on defense.
You took a flight instead of choosing to fight or the FEAR
Running Away vs. Pushing Forward. Who wins?
Provided that the consequence may as well be the same, which response creates a better chemical response in your neuronal network?
Let’s take two of us for example and a situation we both know all too well.
Imagine that we are in front of our two bosses who have sharpened their knives and are ready to use them on us.
In a similar situation, Pareto principle says that 80% of men will just keep swallowing the dirt coming from the boss’ mouth. 20% will respond with the fury of God.
Which group feels better about itself during and after the event?
In my case, back in the days when I was working as a police detective, I got this new boss, eager to “organize the chaos he found himself into.” According to him, the entire precinct was a definition of anarchy. He just didn’t give a fuck that, for instance, I was the only forensic in the area of the smaller country.
So, after he finished his first couple of sentences, I drew my badge out of my pocket and threw it right in his forehead.
The damn thing left the mark on his skin.
But I wasn’t done with him. I said that I’ll wait for the good, private moment and kick the living bejeezus out of him, every time we meet. Then, I just walked out and slammed the door behind me.
An hour later, a phone call for me. He left my badge on my desk.
From that moment on, we were practically best buddies. Dude’s quite OK when you get to know him.
How that happened and why did it happen?
Because we are men. And we have only one method of assessing the rank: whose violence is stronger!
As I said, it didn’t have to work out just fine. But it felt good. And that’s the point. To feel good about yourself, no matter the consequences. After all, we do live only once, for a ridiculously short time.
So, to answer the question, the group that never bends for anyone feel much, much better about itself. Undoubtedly.
THUS, THE RIGHT DECISION WOULD BE:
To fight your fears instead of caving in. Even if you lose, you’ll feel great about yourself because you stood your ground and didn’t bend for anyone!
You complied instead of rejecting the idea entirely or BEING SOMEONE’s BITCH
Whenever we feel something is off with the idea, we are supposed to eliminate it as a viable option.
Why?
As fully-grown men, we’ve accumulated a massive amount of experience from different areas. When our brains are about to make a decision, they will pull out even the remotely relevant memory blocks and do some extremely fast calculations.
After that process ends, we’ll either A) feel a positive enthusiasm, or B) start looking for the ways to dodge that bullet.
If you see the bullet coming your way, you really don’t want to eat it. And yet, against our better judgment, we are doing exactly that, at least once a day.
We are playing against ourselves because we were indoctrinated that way.
How good do we feel about ourselves when that happens?
What’s really stopping us to reject the sole idea and do what we feel that has to be done?
Nothing. Our fear is irrational because there is no real threat if we do it our way.
As we said, the reason why we are repeatedly dancing on someone else’s music is found in the way we were all raised.
Respecting elderly and women is fine but that doesn’t give any of those two groups the right to fuck around with us. And we have a neat weapon to prove that – our pure physical might over them.
It may sound primitive but the fundamental difference between men who feel trapped and those who are living free is exactly the willingness of the latter to demonstrate that power when the situation demands.
Those who are persistently suppressing the urge to speak their mind freely and openly are those depressed, desperate and least successful.
THUS, THE RIGHT DECISION WOULD BE:
Invent your own way. Don’t blindly follow the others because you can never truly rule out the selfish motive. But if you choose to follow, tread lightly!
You chose to waste time instead of using it for your own benefit or THE ULTIMATE SELF-DESTRUCTION
Time. The only thing we cannot earn more or retrieve once it’s gone. And to make things even worse, our time has some really limited lifespan. Around 75 turns of Earth around Sun.
75.
Can you believe it?
1/3 of that time is passing under our radar because we are sleeping. We are knocked out for roughly one-third of our entire existence on this planet.
1/3 or even more goes to some type of professional occupation. In other words, it’s the time we are willingly giving away to someone else when in reality there is no real need for that shit.
That leaves us with 8 hours or less per day to do something we enjoy. At least, that’s how it’s supposed to be.
In reality, we don’t get to spend even an hour doing what we want.
And it’s not the other people’s fault as we like to persuade ourselves.
Because nobody can steal away your time if you don’t allow it.
For instance, why are you wasting time on blamers and justifiers?
You can’t do anything about your wife’s requests and her particular daily mood sometimes. The contract you’ve signed leaves you little choice. And you can’t do much about your kids’ needs either. Or your parents’ needs for that matter.
But why in the God’s name would you spend even a minute on someone who is spending his days bitching and blaming? What possible gain do you expect from such a person, regardless of who he is?
You don’t quite get about whom we are talking about here, do you?
When you don’t feel like doing something you are expected to do, what do you do? (too many do-do’s, I know, but I like how it sounds)
Most likely, you come up with an excuse.
Painful stomach, severe headache, lower back pains, ‘something-just-came-up’ and loads of other crap just to remain exactly where you are – on the couch, watching TV.
And then, a week later, when your wife starts pounding your lazy ass for not doing what she’s asked you to do or what you were supposed to do, what do you do-do?
You start justifying yourself.
By over exaggerating the excuse you originally used to stay glued to your sofa.
When things heat up, you’ll start pulling the potential targets to put the blame on in a desperate attempt to further strengthen your defense.
If the lower back pain was the excuse and justification, your corrupted and devious boss will be the “cause” of that pain.
That’s the sequence of the entire blaming process.
Excuse -> Justification -> Blaming
Give it some time and you’ll get used to it. It will evolve into a habit.
Now, reflect on your friends, family, neighbors, and acquaintances.
How many of them have this habit of barging in your garage or backyard while you are chilling, to let you know how they blame Trump, government, corrupted system, and even that arrogant neighbor for their misfortune?
While he is speaking, seconds and minutes are slowly dripping into the abyss. He is speaking, you are listening, exposing your brain to unbelievable amounts of irrational negativism. Your brain listens. It learns. Adapts to your environment. As the only way for you to survive in such harsh conditions.
It’s like being in a small room filled with people who are smoking weed. It doesn’t really matter that you are refusing to roll one. Just by being exposed to that environment is enough to intoxicate your brain and prevent you from driving your car.
Expect that same effect if you are frequently exposed to lazyasses who are making up excuses for not doing anything with their lives.
THUS, THE RIGHT DECISION WOULD BE:
Ditch worthless assholes! We are talking about blamers, justifiers and all of those who have this nasty habit of saying how something is “impossible” consequently intoxicating your brain and wasting your precious time on this planet.
Among all 5 categories of decisions, the one about the time is arguably the first that you should put in order.
In other words, convert your time into an asset, starting with ditching all those blaming assholes and crybabies.
The rest will just fall in line on its own because one good habit creates the entire set of additional positive habits.
Decide to detach from all that negativism and embrace positive things happening all around you.
HENCE, THE TAKEAWAY IS:
What you focus on expands!
