We ended the first part with the interesting and profound thought that makes a decisive impact on a decision to fight or flight. It can make difference between life in struggle and life in abundance. Here, we are going deeper into the mind of a mentally strong man!
And it is now imperative to learn the right way of thinking.
When you’re examining the certain possibility, sure you’ll take all factors into consideration. It would be irresponsible not to analyze the potential risks. But there’s a difference between risk assessment and stalling. In other words, focus on risk and you’ll never move to see the real opportunity.
Even if it seems “too risky” (whatever the hell that means), you just need to think long-term in some instances.
For example, when the last crisis hit us, many got evicted. Real estate market went dead.
But was it really dead?
Not for a moment.
All those properties got flipped and re-sold very quickly. It was a great moment to invest in properties because prices were ridiculously low. What someone bought for $250,000 went under $100K. A few years later, the market recovered and an investor made a clean 6-figure profit out of it.
Therefore, don’t take ages to assess the risk.
Focus on an opportunity primarily.
And even if everything goes to hell and you lose your money, you know what? Nothing essentially big happened. You’re still alive. You have your wife and kids. You just restart everything. Remember: you already did it before.
Just don’t fall into the state of depression because:
The mentally strong men never feel sorry for themselves and never ever pity themselves
When you think about it, what can you possibly gain from feeling sorry for yourself? What’s in it for you?
I tell you what. Nothing. Just the darkness of doom. The completely fucked up state of mind good for nothing.
It’s possibly the only emotion good for nothing. God only knows why we have it in a first place. It generates nothing.
If something went wrong, you’ve made a mistake.
There was an error or series of them somewhere along the way. You only need to self-analyze and pinpoint those errors.
For the entire time you’re feeling sorry for yourself, your mind is shut. The brain cannot successfully execute the thinking process because you’re deprived of any type of reward chemicals, serotonin in particular. Add the excessive exposure to cortisol which blocks your working memory and you have a recipe for soon to happen disaster in form of suicide thoughts.
You can feel sorry for other people but not you.
Because a mentally strong man will invest time and efforts to work on his weaknesses
What you basically need to do is to make a self-SWOT analysis to see where your strengths are but also what are your weaknesses. For instance, you want to approach to that hot woman you’ve been seeing in your favorite bar for some time now. But something is blocking you. You don’t know what it is but you just can’t force yourself to approach her.
Is it a fear of rejection? Is it a lack of self-confidence? Is it your looks that affect your self-esteem? What is it?
You need to pinpoint each and every BEFORE you can start working on improvements.
If your voice is breaking when you’re talking to someone you don’t know, you probably have a stage fright. It’s fairly easy to solve this issue. Take the camera and talk into it. Funny as it may seem, it works like a charm.
Or take the military for example. A good stratagem will take all his weaknesses into the consideration when planning the strategy. If possible, he will set up the training camp to fix those weaknesses. If that’s not applicable, he’ll plan the strategy, focusing on his strengths and making sure to put those weaknesses on the margins.
Same is with approaching the hot lady in a night bar.
She’s super hot and seems out of your league. Your hands are shaking and you’re sweating like a goddamn animal but you push forward. You improvise. You deal with the problem as you run into it. You’re not sure that you’ll be able to speak a simple meaningful sentence but you know two things: your wallet speaks for itself and your dick works magic – every time.
The trick is simple.
Remote chemical communication. She’ll sense your confidence on a level she cannot explain.
Her limbic part of the brain kicks in. All you have to do is place all of your focus on your strengths and in most cases, your weaknesses will be gone. That’s how you sell. You appear confident to appear trustworthy.
But then again, you cannot please everybody and mentally strong men are perfectly aware of that
That’s why a mentally strong man focuses on people he can please while ditching those who nag and bitch 24/7. He doesn’t want to waste any of his energy on some prick who’s trying to cover his own weaknesses by being loud about every single detail.
For a few years, I managed the chain of resorts along the coast. It was the business model where you lease the big ass house with the potential to install the kitchen and dining space in order to build a resort for the middle class. Each very affordable and in a great location.
Of course, there weren’t much of the luxuries there. Everything was relatively primitive. But then again, it cost only $230 per capita for a week on the coast. Three meals, room with the shower and toilet and some 200 yards to the beach. Pretty good deal and 90% of all guests were thrilled about it. 50% returned year after a year and that speaks a lot.
But you always have that 10 % who think that $230 will buy a 5-star De Luxe Presidential Suite in Shangri-La. So they spend their week constantly complaining about every single thing.
Understanding their real motivation, I made a new policy few weeks after I took over: he complains ergo he’s out. Make the full refund and ask politely that he never again returns.
You know what happens in 99% of these cases?
They end up ass-whopped by their wives! Not only does she has to suffer because of his incompetence but now can’t even spend the week in the warm sea, suntanning and forgetting about everything that waits for her once she comes home. Dude, I’ve seen a woman asking for the lawyer, wanting an immediate divorce. I’ve seen women ditching their husbands and begging to stay. I’ve seen it all.
You will never be able to satisfy and please everybody so don’t even try it. Focus your energy on those who respect your solutions and you’ll make followers out of them.
You can’t control everything anyway, so why kicking your ballz about it.
The mentally strong man never blames himself for the things outside his control or influence
Now, this is something that it’s highly debatable. If you pay attention, you’ll avoid shit. You simply won’t step in it.
But sometimes you can get distracted by the image of some long legs attached to a beautiful ass and you’ll have a shoe full of the dog’s crap.
Could you control it?
To some extent, yes. But then again, why depriving yourself of that scenery. You’ll wipe that shit off your shoes in no time and have a good memory.
The thing is that people get so hooked up on the control that they miss the good parts of the life.
If something happens and you fail to prevent it, don’t bust your ballz about it. Blaming will solve nothing. Instead, see if there is a way to prevent that shit from happening in the future.
Just think about it for a moment. If someone broke the plate, what good will it make to spend minutes yelling around the house, trying to find the perp? So it was your kid, so fucking what? Will it bring the plate back? No. How about you place it out of child’s reach instead or perhaps put something extremely soft on the kitchen floor?
Or you can teach your child how to hold the plate right. It takes patience but it will yield results eventually.
The mentally strong man is patient
A mentally strong man never rushes things. He always plans on a long run. If something sucks right now and it will still suck in a month or so, it doesn’t mean that it won’t smell lovely in 5-year time.
Same applies to planning and execution. It takes time to learn. Time to assess and analyze. Time to plan the strategy. It can be a week, a month or a year. All the same, as long as you do your due diligence in a proper way.
He speaks clearly and understandably
If you have to yell to make your point, something just doesn’t add up. You’re hiding something. Probably your incompetence, lack of knowledge or complete cluelessness.
The mentally strong man will never speak unless he’s sure in his claim.
He will use short and concise sentences and never ever raise his voice. In fact, deep voice and slow sentences can tell you that you’re talking to someone mentally tough.
And one more thing: he will look directly into your eyes.
He’ll do that namely because:
He’s nobody’s property. Nobody owns him. Nobody can buy him.
And him looking directly into your eyes during the entire conversation sends a clear message about that. I’m my own man and you can’t do shit to own me in any way. You can try, but you will end up disappointed.
Nobody owns you!
That shitty salary that you’ve been receiving is only a crappy compensation for your labor. It doesn’t mean that you are someone’s slave. Act “humble” and they’ll fuck you any chance they get. Because, harder you bend, harder they fuck you. It’s the reality.
Slam the fucker’s door and he’ll know that you’re not someone to fuck with. If you’re good at what you do, he won’t fire you. He needs you. What you did was setting some ground rules and when the raise issue comes on the table, guess who’ll be the first one to receive it.
The mentally strong man never repeats mistakes
Because he learns from the past. He takes time to think about his errors and learn why did he make them. That way, he gains an edge because every mistake he made in the past is now a valuable experience; something that cannot be learned in books.
He never lets the fear taking over him
The Fear should be present only in a life and death situation. The Fear should exist only when some real physical threat is hanging over your head. Everything else is more or less irrelevant.
If you’re to succeed in anything, you must fight the fear because the fear is blocking you.
When you’re in a state of fear your defense mechanism is activated. That means that the bigger portion of your working memory is down. Cortisol makes sure that none of the secondary mechanisms are active when in the state of fear. Only the most essential for survival.
But how do you deal with it?
By exposing yourself over and over again. There’s no other way. Arachnophobia can only be treated by spiders. You need to expose yourself to a tarantula. You need to take it in your hand and let it walk on your skin again and again.
The mentally strong man takes his time to think things through
This mostly applies to a situation where you’re aggravated and pissed. You never make a decision while in that state because you’re not thinking clearly. You sleep it over and then decide what to do.
He accepts other people’s help but also provides the help
We thrive only because we give and share. Collaboration is the secret to our success. Give to have but also take when offered. It has to come in a state of equilibrium same as everything else. In other words, being selfish will get you nowhere. Being over-generous and giving all the time while not receiving will drain you out.
The mentally strong man never backs up from the righteous cause
If you come to the conclusion that you’re fighting for a good cause and then, after a short period of time, you back down, what did you achieve?
You need to keep pushing it to the end.
It’s like ants. They always push forward and never retreat. They never look back. Why? Because they know where they’re heading and why they are heading in that direction.
The mentally strong man will plan his route after targeting his end goal. He will then pursue that goal relentlessly. He knows no obstacles. No limits. His focus is on his goal no matter what are the costs. He’s a fucking ant, that’s what he is.
And that’s what you should be. A fucking ant. That’s what every man on this planet must be. No retreat, no surrender. Fight to the bitter end if needed.
But if we employ just a quantum of our brain potentials, the reward will be sweet.
So be an ant and you’ll make it happen. It’s in your head. Put it on a paper and make the strategy.
These 20 traits are extremely important no matter what you’re trying to achieve. Spend some time self-reflecting to see where you have to improve.