We are protectors and providers. It’s who we are. It’s what makes us men. Yet, we are not fulfilling that role. As a result, lives are lost.
On July 7, 2015, a young woman (29) decided to do the unthinkable. She drove her 5-year-old son and herself to death by driving a car into a deep lake. It was a desperate act of a desperate woman who couldn’t find another way to escape her nemesis – her abusive and sadistic husband.
Judging by the note she left, it’s clear that she saw no other way.
Her 7 years of marriage was nothing but a pain and suffering simply because she chose the wrong man. She chose a coward. She chose someone so scared and so inferior that he used her to cure his own lows and his own frustrations.
One paragraph in her suicide note proves this. She wrote, and I quote: “You should’ve been given an Oscar for your act. You successfully tricked me to believe that you are the one for whom I’m willing to die for. For whom I’m willing to forget about anyone else. You have cheated your way into my heart…”
By assessing her character on account of the witness testimonials, we are talking about the prime example of a woman; an alpha woman. Devoted, faithful, passionate, intelligent – in short, she was a living definition of a perfect woman. The lady in a public, the maid in a kitchen and the burning fire in the bed. The woman, the mother, and the queen – all in one person.
However, she made a horrible mistake by falling in love with a less of a man.
Somehow, he managed to present himself as an equal alpha and as soon as he realized that she is far more superior to him, he started to use the brute force in an attempt to reverse the roles.
Blinded by the love, she wasn’t able to escape from herself. Instead, she was ready to push even more to satisfy someone who simply can’t cope with the fact that he is nothing more but a pussy.
Years went by and the entire situation simply evolved from bad to worse.
Alcohol and adultery led to fights and brutal retaliation each time she would confront him with the fact that — and hear this — she is in a possession of a video showing him having sex with another woman.
Her life turned into a living hell. And we are talking about the educated and intelligent woman. It is hard to imagine how a woman like that would willingly live with someone so shameless that he would even bring another woman to their home and force his own wife to watch him having sex with some trash.
It was only natural for her to seek a way to escape.
Since the law enforcement and social service made none of the efforts to protect her from abusing and sadistic husband, she made a deadly decision.
The records show that she called police 11 times in last three years. Each time they tried to persuade her that she should reconsider her stand because her husband’s brother was a police chief.
She even moved away few times with their child but he would track her down and brought her home.
All that time, her father, brother, and the neighbors knew exactly what was going on and nobody moved a finger to help her. As far as her father was concerned, he was her choice and she has to deal with it on her own!?
How, if I may ask?
Left by the closest family and the system, slowly but surely Samantha started to accept the fact that death is the only thing that will bring her a desperately needed relief.
Under an immense pressure, her tormented mind started to work in a pathological mode.
Her son would be lost if she commits suicide. She would condemn him to a life of a misery with a drunken and sadistic father.
In her note, she states clearly, “My little angel is innocent and his destiny will be tragic. But I just can’t bear the thought that he would be left at the mercy of that animal. And even if he would somehow survive that, I have no doubts in my mind that he would become same as his father. Therefore, I pray to God to welcome my little angel as he is just another victim of the beast who reigns over our lives…”
The day she published her suicide note over the social networks, she took her son and drove both of them into a lake.
“I see no point in living. He had destroyed me physically and psychologically. The one, who I loved the most, betrayed me in a way unimaginable to a woman. The one who I loved the most has killed me and our little angel. But this he cannot change. This he cannot influence. This is my choice. This is my freedom.”
Abandoned by everyone, 29-years-old Samantha killed her son and committed suicide because she had exhausted every other way to escape from the hell.
However, this tragic story does not only go on a soul of her abusive husband.
It goes on the soul of her father, brother, police, social service, and every other man who knew or was aware of what was going on in a home of Samantha P.
We are protectors and providers. It is up to us to make sure that every woman and every child feel safe. It is up to us to react. It is up to us to step up and interfere even if it means to expose ourselves in any way just to protect someone who is in suffer and whose life and well-being is in danger.
This is a wakeup call to all men out there. A wakeup call to law enforcement, social services, and legislation entities. It is up to us all to remove this issue once and for all because we are not cave animals anymore.
We are claiming that we are above the wolf that lives in a pack. We are claiming that we are an advanced species who managed to rise above nature’s laws. We claim that we protect the weak.
Our laws and procedures; our services that exist to make sure every person upholds those laws; our determination to protect the lives and well-being of every member of our society; everything falls down in the water on account of the sole existence of the safe houses and shelters for abused women and children.
How is it possible that something like that even exists? How is it possible that we allow men to act like that prick of Samantha’s husband? How is it possible that we allow those kinds of men to freely roam this world?
Because one thing is certain.
They should be permanently removed from our society.
And the main reason for that is not only their obvious cowardliness and sadistic behavior toward their women. It goes much deeper into the very fabric of our contemporary society.
Their actions deliver a negative impact on our development because God only knows how many potential geniuses have been destroyed.
How many brilliant women and children never reached their full potentials just because we failed to react on time?
How many lives are lost due to our ignorance?
How many Tesla’s never had a chance to share their innovations with the rest of the world to push our society one step further?
Make no mistake; one of them could potentially find the cure for cancer, enhance our energy potentials, and resolve thousands of questions and problems we are facing each day.
But because we allowed this pure evil and sadism to survive our evolution, that brilliant potential ceased to exist. Life got lost due to a primitive brutality and the fact that the system has failed.
And that system is clear about one thing: every person has the right to live and to develop. Nobody is allowed to influence that in a negative way. Nobody is allowed to cure his frustrations and compensate for his own gutlessness by beating someone who is obviously weaker than him. Nobody.
Why do men have to step up?
This is a men’s world. Nature made us stronger for a reason. We are here to make sure nothing bad happens to our loved ones. Therefore, it is up to us to make the change and trigger yet another evolutionary step of our species.
You see, the mindset of an abused woman operates in a different way from what’s considered “normal.” She lives in a hostile environment and her brain adapts accordingly. Her survival instincts kick in and she will do every effort to survive.
That means that she will put up with the beatings and try to do anything in her power to satisfy her abuser. It’s basically a hostage syndrome where a person deliberately patronizes the perpetrator just to live another day until help arrives. And when that help voids, the person finds it extremely difficult to see the way out.
To better understand what’s going on in an abused woman’s mind, I’ll share a sum of many interviews I have had with the victims of the domestic violence:
There are two main reasons why an abused woman will do every effort to refrain from A) reporting her abuser, and B) discussing the shit she has to put up with on daily bases with someone else – even with the law enforcement officer.
One is a feeling of the ultimate desperation once she realized that no one is willing to help her – not even her father or a brother, let alone the police.
The other is the feeling of shame and humiliation because the abused woman is certain about yet another tragic fact of life: people are feeding their souls on a misery of the others. That’s why a happy, positive news never sticks on the front page for too long. On the other hand, when some shit happens, we are listening for days about it.
To compensate for their lows, people will seek out for tragic stories, gossips, and tragedies in general. It is one of the most deviant and pathological traits of the large portion of the population.
At the end, the abused woman can’t help herself. She is condemned to a life of misery and constant fear for her life and life of her children because a drunken man with the history of domestic violence is unpredictable. His reactions in terms of pure brutality increase each time he feels the urge to cure his own lows by beating up that gentle creature who decided to share everything with him just because she fell in love with him.
No conditions, no requests, no second thoughts. Driven by the overwhelming feeling of love she is dragged into a hellhole of a life. And once she reaches her limits, she is forced to an ultimate act – to commit a suicide.
It is an ultimate attempt to be in control. In fact, it is the only way for the abused woman to be in control since everything else failed. Maybe not the best analogy, but in marriages where a husband practices the psychological type of abuse to humiliate a wife who is obviously far more superior than him; when two of them are having sex, the wife will use every excuse to be on top. It’s her only way to be in control when she is blocked in every other way.
We all need to snap out of it and step up to protect those who need our help.
If you are the father and your daughter made it clear that she is in an abusive relationship; it is up to you to protect her since she failed to find her protector. Her failure is your failure. You did something wrong when you raised her and failed to teach her how to recognize the fucker when she sees one. It is time to correct your mistake and to expose yourself in order to save the life of your own daughter.
If you are a police officer, instead of trying to persuade an abused woman into changing her statement, remove the prick and make every effort to lock him up for a longer period of time. Work with the justice institutions and provoke the reaction.
If you are a neighbor who is well aware of the tragedy happening near you, don’t cave in. How can you watch something like that and live with yourself knowing that you failed to protect the weaker?
If we all step up just a bit and start acting the way we are supposed – as protectors and providers, I have no doubts in my mind that we can remove those who endanger our progress and the progress of our children.
Always keep in mind one fact: that abused woman or a child may be someone whose knowledge and passion will benefit you, your family and your children.
Don’t be a wuss. Be a man and step up!