You know those days when you get up all happy and perky but as the time goes by, you are feeling increasingly miserable, not knowing why? The reason lies in the infamous 5Es Group or 5 types of people in your closest social environment that have a nasty habit of sucking out every last drop of positive energy from you.
In here, you’ll learn how to recognize and how to handle the 5Es Group
By learning how to avoid their traps, you’ll build the environment of positivity and happiness. Stress level will get seriously reduced, which will ensure longer and healthier life.
Don’t forget: the level of personal satisfaction is directly connected to and relies on our closest social environment.
It’s the way we are wired and nobody can do anything to change the fact that we are living our lives in a state of constant duality between how we see ourselves and how others are seeing us.
Therefore, how good we’ll feel about ourselves, depends on a sensitive balance between acceptance and rejections of our responses.
And it’s about the sensitive balance of the reward chemicals in your brain
The infamous 5Es Group, when active in our vicinity, is doing everything in its power to reduce the output of our reward chemicals – serotonin and dopamine.
Without these two, life is simply impossible. Any longer period of deprivation will force even the toughest among us to commit suicide.
Hence, take the following tutorial very seriously.
The first “E” from the 5Es Group makes the bulk of the population. They are:
We are basically talking about a ficus with an opinion and unexplainable need to boss everything with the heartbeat.
It doesn’t really take a genius to recognize the talking ficus. It’s that thing that’s been sitting in the chair all day long, constantly demanding something.
When that same plant happens to be fully satisfied with the current supplies, it has nothing else to do but to be a smartass. By some miracle, ficus knows “the best way” even though it doesn’t read nor develop in any way. The peak of the daily personal development progress is reading stupid Facebook statuses.
It appears that the plant drains all that knowledge and experience from one to two lines of text on top of some image, written by yet another ficus.
When you take a more “global” look, you can actually see the network of these leeches, connected by the roots like on Pandora in the Avatar movie.
How do you handle [E]XPLOITERS?
With a few decisive, harsh, yet simple and easy responses, suitable for every situation:
- “Get that fat ass up and do it yourself” – in a situation where you’ve been bossed around for no good reason.
- “A ficus doesn’t have an opinion” – in a situation where you are being “outsmarted” or “guided” by someone who has no experience in the matter.
- “You’re hungry? Me too. Make us something. Or leave.”
- “I’m busy finishing [something, whatever you come up with, more lame and blatant the merrier] for my CEO. Go talk to him/her if you want me to do it.” – in a professional environment, where your “dear colleague” is making sure that you’re always busy while he/she is sipping coffee and telling jokes in a canteen. Later, he or she will just take the credit for your deeds.
- “Sure, no problem. But only after you [some action or response you demand as a condition for your involvement/assistance].” – in a situation where you’ve been pitched for charity by someone who’s a known parasite.
You’re getting the picture now. It doesn’t really matter how you’ll respond as long as you’re actually responding because the point is to create the shock at the [E]XPLOITER.
These people are known for their ability to pinpoint the suitable target that will spend years slaving for them. That target is always someone who blindly obeys and never questions the authority of the [E]XPLOITER.
For instance, a woman will use emotions and raw sexual/seduction energy/skills to spin a man around her finger. He’ll spend his life trying to meet every demand and indulge every desire, without ever thinking about own well-being. He’s been blatantly EXPLOITED!
Now, we are moving the second largest population within the 5Es Group, the:
Sneaky teeth grinders, working behind your back 24/7. That’s the simplest way to describe this type.
The moment they suspect that you’re more successful than they are, every action is aimed at destroying you, one way or another. Everything is disguised with the big smile and unbelievable amounts of pandering. The pure envy.
While you are going through your life, thinking how good friends you have, they are working on trashing your name.
For example, a woman, the close “family friend,” will always hit on her “best friend’s” partner/husband/boyfriend, if she feels how her gal pal has a better marital life. She’ll be working overtime trying to inflict the damage.
Or, let’s say that you got things really going on for you and thus; decide to reward yourself with the great set of wheels. Your pals will appear to be admiring your success. But the moment you turn your back, the teeth grinding begins. In their eyes, you’re a corrupted crook, nothing more. At least to the majority of them. And since they have no capabilities to catch up with you, they’ll try to fuck you up, in order to bring you closer to their level of success.
You can easily recognize the [E]NVIER in everyday communication.
It’s the person who holds the grudge against anyone who’s more capable, respected or successful than he/she is. It’s quite often a total stranger to him/her, but with money and respect.
He or she will regularly start the topic where some relatively successful individual will be in the center of despicable trashing. The adjective “greedy” will pop up frequently.
Of course, the target is never around to hear the actual attack. “Rumor has it” tactic is all the [E]NVIER needs to begin healing his/her own frustrations and inferiority complex.
How do you handle [E]NVIERS?
You ditch them. All of them.
You want them far away from you and your family. No mercy. No second thoughts. Just a brutal response that sends a clear message: get lost and don’t come back!
There’s really no reason why you would spend even a second with someone who envies you.
You have to understand that an envier is a dangerous person, driven by the lowest possible urges. The only goal in that person’s mind is to fuck you up. Sooner the better. More the merrier.
But sometimes, it’s hard to distinct [E]NVIERS from our third type of folks in the infamous 5Es Group, the:
Or the folks who never miss an opportunity to preach you up, trying to talk you into their viewport. It’s like living with an annoying pastor.
It’s hard to distinguish between these two types because they frequently overlap. The difference is the expected “reward”:
- An [E]NVIER is feeding on your misery
- An [E]VANGELIST is feeding on your admiration.
He or she is anticipating the overwhelming shot of serotonin every time you nod your head in acceptance.
The problem is: you are being suffocated by the noise. There’s no room for development or even a simple expression of your opinion. He or she just never freakin’ stops talking and preaching.
You say how you bought a nice suit for the occasion and he’ll first ask you about the brand. After you answer, the preaching begins. No matter how expensive that Armani suit that may be, it won’t worth a lousy penny when he starts explaining the industry and trends. Secrets, nobody knows but him. Not even Giorgio Armani.
Because in its essence…
An [E]VANGELIST, like every other preacher, does not care about your opinion. Their only interest is your acceptance of their reflections.
Give it some time, and your influence will diminish. You’ll become just another “groupie.” A blind follower with no opinion. And when you don’t have the opinion, you don’t have any self-esteem.
Translated to your well-being, you’re fucked because you are being deprived of the dopamine shot – the single, most important reward chemical in your brain; the one your life depends on.
How to deal with [E]VANGELISTS?
There’s no point trying to outvoice the self-proclaimed preacher. It’s the lost battle. You’ll either remove the [E]VANGELIST from your social circle or you’ll remove yourself. Either way, you have to create a buffer zone.
However, even after you remove [E]XPLOITERS, [E]NVIERS and [E]VANGELISTS, you are still left with two equally dangerous and life-sucking types. One of which is the:
Snapping turtles that have this nasty habit of exploding for no good reason.
One moment he’s fine, the very next, he goes ballistic, just because you dared to confront his standpoint by expressing your opinion on the matter.
When you think about the profile, imagine the controlling father with the raging personality. Something like a heroin addict, deprived of the shot. It’s either his way or highway, in a very loud and aggressive kind of way.
The [E]RUPTOR simply feeds on your fear. It gives him (her) the necessary life energy.
That fear is triggered by the sudden aggression which activates your defense mechanism. It means cortisol overexposure.
And you really don’t want that because any long exposure to cortisol leads to physical damage to your organ tissue.
What can you do about these aggressive [E]RUPTERS?
First of all, you need to understand that he or she is putting up a show. It’s basically a charade. The mask.
Underneath that mask hides the weak, insecure and low-confident creature.
Loud voice and sudden, unprovoked eruption of aggressive behavior have only one purpose – to hide that fact.
Thus, it’s relatively easy to deal with this type. You just put him/her where he/she belongs – way below you.
Either walk away with an inevitable wave of the hand or deploy swift, sudden and brutal counterattack. Clearly show that your violence at least matches the violence of the [E]RUPTOR, if not even exceeding it.
Do that, and you’ll have a much better day, week, month, year…hell…even life.
We saved the worst of the 5Es Group for the sweet end. The:
Whatever you do, it’s either inadequate, irrelevant, or can be done better. An Olympic gold medal can’t seem to satisfy these folks.
Their profile is fairly similar to one of the [E]NVIERS with one distinct difference:
- [E]RASERS don’t work behind your back. Instead, they are putting you down right there on the spot. In other words, they don’t wait for you to move away like [E]NVIERS do.
This type gets off on the fact that you feel miserable about yourself. It’s the only way they know to compensate for their shortcomings.
And when will you feel most miserable?
After you achieve some accomplishment that makes you feel good about yourself. Sudden rejection of your expression, that got rewarded with the dopamine earlier, will now cause rapid depletion of both dopamine and serotonin, pushing you down, in a state of acute depression.
It will show on your face which is more than enough for the [E]RASER to receive his/her shot of these two life-important chemicals. More they can put you down, more satisfied they get.
How to counteract?
By complete isolation of the one, you recognize to be the [E]RASER.
He or she must not be in a situation where it’s possible to put you down and that’s practically every single conversation you’ll have with this type.
So, the best course of action is ditching the type altogether. Remove and erase. Like a dog’s shit from your shoe.
When you think about it, the 5Es Group should be at least a galaxy away from you. Each type is working to get you, sooner or later. You’re the preferred type of food for them and they will seize every opportunity to feed on you.
Do some thinking and profile the people within your circle. Can you categorize them? Can you place them in any of these types?
If you can, start crossing the names with the red fucking pen.
Why is necessary to detach from the 5Es Group?
Because of the mirror neurons that make you the human being.
Mirror neurons make up a big chunk of your neuronal network and serve only two purposes:
- For you to be able to experience the remote action as something you did.
- For you to identify with and establish the ranking within the group.
That’s just the way we are wired as a species. As we said, the level of happiness and satisfaction with life largely depends on whether our expressions are frequently accepted or rejected.
When exposed to the 5Es Group, our expressions are being constantly rejected or not allowed to surface.
It has a devastating effect on our well-being because we are depending on high activation of serotonin neurotransmitter, otherwise known as the leadership or self-confidence chemical.
Serotonin deprivation, on the other hand, caused by frequent rejections of person’s expression, leads to depression and ultimately ends with suicide.
Because, people are, in fact, killing themselves for one out of two reasons:
- Motivation to commit suicide (i.e. to protect someone as an act of ultimate heroism)
- Chronic serotonin deprivation.
There’s no third reason.
Believe it or not, many hung themselves due to the overexposure to the 5Es Group.
Just analyze the folks you know and you’ll see how many of them are suffering the consequences of being closely connected to any of the types from the infamous 5Es Group.
Imagine what that overexposure does to you and how it affects your happiness and level of success/satisfaction.