That depends on why you cheated – What was the reason for your heating? You see, while most guys will tell you that it happens and that you’re man and as such you cannot ignore or miss the obvious opportunity to slam your dick in some hot, strange cunt, that’s just playing stupid.
You are a man, that’s right. We are walking horny for the most of the day, that’s also the truth. But that doesn’t mean that we should gamble with our integrity.
If you are married, you are married. It was your decision. You knew what that carries.
Now under the presumption that you don’t have a habit on humping everything that walks, you need to think a bit harder about the cause. It’s not the first time some women offered herself to you, right? Why didn’t you use that opportunity also?
Something was different this time and you need to put your mind into it. Is it only a one-time-incidence or is there potential for something greater; maybe an honest and devoted relationship?
If your cheating was a one-time-incidence
And you have no feelings for the woman you cheated with, than it might not be wise to come clean about it. While she may forgive you, you have to understand that nothing can restore once destroyed trust and confidence.
Think of it this way if it’s driving you crazy and you would like to spill your gut to her: you will make more harm than good. There is no question about it. What she doesn’t know can’t harm her.
Understand this: it is vice versa too. There is no way in hell that she’ll ever admit one night stand with some stranger and endanger her little safe haven. Again, what you don’t know can’t harm you.
If you love your wife and feel ashamed with your deed and behavior, swallow it and hold your piece. You’ll destroy your marriage, make damage to your children and end up alone and crushed because at the end, you love your wife and can’t live without her.
Forget about it but be aware of one life fact: once is accident, second time is exception and third time is a rule. We all tend to do same shit all over again after a while because we slipped without punishment. So make sure that doesn’t happen again.
If it does happen, you should be a man and admit to her that you no longer feel like a member of the team. You’ll crush her, wreak havoc to your household and children in particular, but it is for the best.
You cheated – Something clicked and you can’t get her out of your mind
To make things even worse (or better), she feels the same. What’s going on? You still love your wife, but is it possible that the original love you felt for her faded away during the time? Can you love two women in the same time? Is this something acute or is it chronic?
Tons of questions only you can answer. Go away for a while and disconnect. Make the excuse and disappear from the radars. Do not contact anyone for at least 2 days. Be alone with your thoughts. Because what you’re about to decide will have long term effects on you and everybody around you, regardless of your choice.
How to decide whether it’s a real thing or something that will pass in few weeks?
How long do you know that women? Do you have a history with her? What’s her current status and situation? Are you worrying about the fact that in no time your wife will find replacement and that they will be doing it like horny rabbits; same you two did not so long ago?
Did things maybe fall in routine and that caused you to seek out the thrill outside your home?
In 99% of all cases, where man still loves his wife and she obviously loves him, that’s what caused the shit to happen. Your life is in routine.
So before any hasty decision, go home and make sure to shake the ground. Fire is there. It’s just that fire is buried under the sediments of life. You need to shake it a bit to move the deposit of ash and restart the fire. Explain how you feel and I’m willing to bet good money that she feels the same. Two weeks later you two are on a second honeymoon.
But if your attempt to shake the ground didn’t yield anything, then fire is extinguished for a while now and the only reason why two of you are together is unwillingness to exit your comfort zones.
If there is nothing coming from your wife and you still feel for the other woman same as she feels for you, then pack your bags and leave. And no, don’t tell your wife about the other woman. Why would you want to hurt her even more?
You leaving will do two things: you are providing an open space for that new woman to decide whether to fight or flight and you are providing a unique opportunity to your wife to realize that she misses you. Sometimes you don’t really appreciate what you have until you lose it.