Creating the best dating profile is like creating a marketing strategy for some brands. You see, we don’t choose an expensive brand by our choice. It’s just an illusion. Our buying decision, while it may not appear like that, is the final step of a complex, carefully planned and executed process that relies on neuro and human behavioral science.
Now, using the cutting-edge neuroscience, behavioral science, and top-notch marketing techniques, we will explain
How to create the best dating profile and
Decades of research on buying habits, standard social behavior, sexual preferences, mating rituals, verbal and non-verbal communication cues, and every other cognitive and automatic (unaware) response, created this specific industry, known for its brutal effectiveness in attracting masses around the messages, ideas, movements, and brands.
As you will soon realize, we’ll be doing things a bit differently than it’s usual in online dating. By applying the best from neuromarketing, we will radically increase your odds of finding the best date (match). After all, not many have the privilege to have sales and marketing professionals tweaking their dating profiles and giving them brutally effective dating profile tips.
Yes, it’s about selling yourself, believe it or not, and that’s the hardest thing to do.
Because you have to understand that whatever we do in our lives we are either buying or selling. A product. A service. An idea. An opinion. Heck, even yourself. You’re either on a buying side or on the selling side of a deal.
There’s nothing in between except negotiations.
Dating is no exception.
This game has been played since the dawn of the species and now, for the first time ever, after more than 4 million years of evolution, this elemental and vital part of human behavior has moved to the virtual, non-physical world, where some of the traditional rules don’t apply.
It’s easy to understand why many are struggling with their dating profiles and subsequently with finding a date or the best possible match.
It’s something new and unknown and the unknown scares us.
It triggers our defense mechanism where, as the first step, parts of our working memory are being knocked down. That’s why you “can’t think clearly while under the immense stress!”
That’s why marketers are always seeking for a way to trigger emotion.
They do that to knock down cognitive, rational thinking. They aim for the excitement that will activate a few specific neurotransmitters in a prospect’s brain, inhibiting logical parts of the brain and neocortex in particular.
Why do you love somebody?
You can’t answer that question because love, devotion, and attraction respectively, are the emotions created in primitive, limbic parts of the brain, where no speech nor rationality exists.
And that’s exactly what we will use to create the best dating profile ever.
Every single letter and every image will have just one goal – to trigger the emotion.
Accordingly, our primary focus will be placed on one specific predominant factor in the decision-making process. Your dating success hangs on that one single feature, but at the same time, it’s a double-bladed sword. Those who go over the line, cut themselves.
We want to make sure that you don’t bleed but enjoy the advantages of online dating. We want you to have only a positive experience. And that positive experience largely depends on the effectiveness of your dating profile.
The following dating profile tips are based on human cognitive behavior driven by innate, uncontrollable urges – just like the one that forces you to look right every time you enter the store without even being aware of that action!
The core segments of an attractive dating profile
There are only 4 and they are all mutually connected to each other adding to the overall “look & feel” or the success of your dating profile.
The best thing is that when you know what you’re doing, you can use one or two to compensate for some other where you’re clearly in a disadvantage.
These 4 core segments of every attractive dating profile and online dating in general are:
- Dating profile photo
- Short bio
- Additional interesting information + photos + videos
We’ll start with the profile image.
Dating profile photo makes 90% of the success of your online dating profile
A photo, used as a dating profile image, has a decisive impact on your overall experience. 90% of the decisions to make the contact or respond to a message is based on the profile image.
Naturally, that makes some folks go overboard with tweaking and polishing.
Why dating profile image bears such importance?
We are visual beings, capable of developing the first impression about some object in less than 2 seconds using our eyes primarily. That impression is so powerful that it takes time and some hard efforts to change it.
Knowing that many are editing their favorite photos to appear more attractive. In the process, they go too far and once they meet that other person face-to-face, the entire deal breaks down like a tower made of cards. What seemed like a lovely face, turns out to be something suffered a direct hit from the shotgun.
Then again, it’s obvious that you have to ensure certain quality and improve your odds for the positive first impression.
The question is: how do you do it WITHOUT Photoshop?
Easy. It’s about two interconnected things:
- The art of photography
- Human eye for beautiful and astonishing (the reason why we assigned a virtual value to gold to use it in exchange for goods even though we can’t eat it!)
You don’t have to wear makeup or post-edit the photo to appear beautiful.
It’s about specific photo techniques that create such an effect.
For example, a selfie, made with your smartphone, indoors, at weak illumination won’t produce the optimal result. However, if you step outside, just before the Sunsets, and turn in a direction of the light, while “angling” your head front-down and a bit sideways, to get that “under-the-eyebrow” look, you’ll get a pretty good image.
Or, sit on the deck of your favorite club at night. Let your companion take a photo while you’re leaning a bit forward and again, looking “under-the-eyebrow.” Just make sure not to appear like some maniac J
The trick is to play with different setups and environments until you get the best possible result. Give it some time. It doesn’t have to be right now.
And most importantly – smile. It’s not an ID photo.
Research after research shows that an image of a smiling person is more likely to get a positive response, regardless of the occasion.
In online dating, this bears even greater importance. Because online dating is about fun and not military.
Also, it is known that the photos that show some socially desirable or fun action is more likely to get attention than an ordinary selfie. Something to consider when choosing not only your dating profile photo but also the additional sets for your private albums.
You’re advised to use this if you simply “can’t come up good on photos.” Use those images that are showing you from the relative distance where it’s clear how you’re engaged in some mentioned socially desirable action.
People are making a mistake, picking a photo from their current repository to quickly finalize their dating profiles.
Later examination usually shows how the chosen photo does not satisfy some imaginable criteria and this is when Photoshop is being called into the active service.
Oh, this image is great – only that pimple in the middle of the forehead is really annoying. I’ll remove it. Hmm, what about that chin? Maybe we’ll push it back a bit. And those eyebrows could be angled differently. Yeah, that ridiculous earlap is gone.
In half an hour, an uploaded image, once thoroughly edited, has nothing to do with the person’s true identity. And that’s the decisive moment when everything goes down the drain.
Sure, it will serve its purpose during online communication but how do you think that other person will respond once he/she sees the real face? Not positively, that’s for sure.
Yet, the vast majority of online dating crowd decide to ignore this fact and go with tweaking anyway, hoping for the best.
Our advice: be smarter than that.
Making of the best dating profile ever written
Unlike traditional dating, where you have to “discover” much about the person such as a person’s profession, likes and dislikes by asking questions, online dating is different in that area.
Members are required to write a short bio. This makes either the remaining 10% of the dating profile or even 50% if you know what you’re doing.
While the following method is not the most appropriate for creating dating profiles, it’s brutally efficient nevertheless. Thus, we can, a) learn something from it, and b) apply it in a specific way.
Now, forget about dating for a second and take a look at these two examples. Which version sounds better or strikes more confidence?
“After spending 10 years as the criminal investigator and member of the CSU, Sean Collins, a human behavioral specialist with a passion for neuroscience, decided to utilize his extensive experience in online marketing, being one of the first who used content marketing to radically increase the profits of his clients. Over the course of years, Sean has built a reputable career in a field of neuromarketing and business strategies, expanding his network of clients and followers. He enjoys long walks along the beach and an occasional game of golf.”
“Hi, I’m Sean Collins and I’m a former detective who spent 10 years working in the CSU. Now, I am an online entrepreneur, with extensive experience in human behavioral science and neuromarketing. I was one of the first who started using content marketing to increase the profit for my clients, which enabled me to build a respectable career and reputation in neuromarketing and business strategy. Today, I have a wide network of clients and followers. I enjoy walking along the beach in the sunset and don’t mind a game of golf from time to time.”
Example #2 is a traditional approach, found in 99,9% of all dating profiles. And not just dating profiles. This type of self-presentation is common in writing bios. It’s warm and expected.
Example #1, on the other hand, is proven to attract immediate attention on account of one obvious approach:
- Third-person telling!
The difference is mind-blowing:
Third-person telling is more appealing to your brain because of the illusion that the profile is “recommended” by someone else, rather than self-written by the profile’s owner.
That simple delusion adds to the credibility and that’s why marketing wizards are using this approach.
Just browse through a few bestsellers on Amazon and check the authors’ bios. You’ll find out that each is made by the marketing specialist and not the author himself.
Of course, we are not saying that you should use third-person for dating profiles because that would come up awkward and borderline ridiculous.
However, do consider the following dating profile tip:
When writing your short bio, have the third-person telling approach on your mind. In other words, when you’re “proofreading” your dating profile bio, imagine it told by someone in third-person. You will be surprised how quickly you’re gonna start changing bits and pieces.
There’s one important thing we need to add to this section.
Lies don’t make the best dating profile ever!
Heck, they won’t even sound compelling because to spin the lie and make it a truth, you need to persuade yourself into it and that takes time.
In marketing or politics, it works simply. Repeat the lie over and over again and it will inevitably become the truth.
The problem with doing this in online dating is more or less obvious – you cannot repeat it over and over again.
And since you don’t believe in it, why would you expect others to fall for it?
Some of the best marketers in the world are, at the same time, the best liars, so nicely put by Seth Godin years ago. But those are the people focusing on spin.
You, on the other hand, are focusing on finding a date. And what you focus on expands so there’s no way in hell that you’ll successfully “fabricate” or “twist” some fact. Sooner or later, the truth will come out and you’re fried.
Studies done on online dating are clear on this matter – sincerity works like a charm, while a lie breaks like thin glass, ruining the entire experience. Do consider this when writing your dating profile.
Additional information about you beside the bio that will deepen the emotions at the profile visitors
Don’t go into many details. You don’t want to appear as an open book. Something has to stay aside for a later conversation.
There’s one thing that triggers an emotion and that’s some funny/clumsy/deep fact/thought that will put the smile on the face of the one who’s reading it or trigger curiosity. Remember: you’re aiming for emotion!
“When I was just 10 years old, I found the book, hidden in one of my grandpa’s drawers. And in that book, there was a simple explanation of how to make an explosive device. Let’s just say that my grandpa freaked out when he found out that one of the backyard buildings is missing the entire south wall.”
OK, that would be, perhaps, too much. It’s funny now but it wasn’t back then, believe you me.
Maybe you’re better off writing something that will trigger “wow-look-at-this-guy/girl” type of reaction.
Something in this direction, for example:
“One day, while I was lying on the beach, watching the Sun rising above the distant island, it occurred to me that we are all basically the sum of what they have thought us or missed to teach us. Who says that they did a great job? Couldn’t that be the underlying reason for fails and unhappiness? What if we force ourselves to learn what we want and need to learn?
In years that followed, I successfully upgraded my obsolete and largely misconfigured matrix and now, for the first time ever, I can see and understand the reality. As the result, I’m living a happy, fulfilling and above all, free life. Care to join me?”
And that’s basically it. You don’t write essays but, instead, go short and concise, targeting the emotional switches, activating them one by one.
In the process, you leave much out to preserve the mystery – another important part of the entire dating profile setup.
Now, when you have your cool dating profile image, a short bio — hopefully written in a suggested way — and have placed a sentence or two about some interesting fact about you and/or your past, it’s time to send your very first message!
This is the final step of the entire “sell yourself” process and much depends on it.
Because, you can have the best image and the best bio, written by the professional copywriter, but if you fail to “hit the target” with a sentence or two long message, everything is in vain.
Writing your first message/dating invitation
We’ll use one specific B2B cold emailing technique, proven for its outstanding effectiveness.
By the way, B2B stands for business-to-business and it describes a communication or relationship between two or more business entities or a business conduct process.
Why using a B2B approach in online dating?
Because arguably the hardest thing to do is to “sell” your service and/or product to yet another entrepreneur. The same is true in your case because you’re trying to “sell” to yet another member of a dating site. There’s an obvious correlation.
What you do is simple.
Pick a few profiles that, for some reason, strike your interest. Go over each and take notes on some thoughts, achievements, desires or every other fact that seems important to that person.
Take “lying on the beach, thinking about the meaning of life” story mentioned above for example.
You go like this:
It’s rather peculiar that we share this same concern. Just like you, I’ve been putting a lot of thought into that and came up with some innovative and, perhaps, intriguing ideas/concepts.
I would be more than happy if you could join me for a drink/on chat tomorrow evening, anywhere between 7 and 8 PM. I’m really eager to hear your deeper thoughts about it.”
Now, let’s analyze this message.
You used a simple hook – association.
You want association rather than recalling, where recalling would be using something other than a person’s history.
The person you’ve just sent this message, automatically identifies with it, whether he/she wants that or not. That’s because you successfully triggered the emotion using that person’s personal interest/fact.
A) “Care to meet me for a dinner any time soon?”
B) “Would you like to meet with me sometimes?”
C) “Will you have 30 minutes tomorrow between 5 and 6 PM to discuss this matter over a drink/on the chat?”
Which of these 3 types of invitations is most likely to trigger a positive response?
You are right. It’s C).
You sound confident, defined, yet not too commanding because you seemingly “left” the choice (the timespan). Most importantly, you’re appearing like someone who cares about other people’s opinions.
Remember: it’s always about those seemingly irrelevant details. A simple word, a relatively narrow timeframe, a gesture. That’s what seals the deal in every situation.
Now you know how to create the best dating profile. Simply change the words, using these recommended templates and you’ll definitely stick out from the crowd, attracting needed attention.
What are you waiting for? Go find a date – today!