Confidence is the greatest single greatest attribute you can have, is hard to quantify, and hard to describe. Confidence is your level of achievements, your sense of self and your level of self-esteem. Confidence is a learned attribute; it is not inherited. If you have little confidence, it might mean that you have been criticized, undermined or suffered a tragic loss in your past or it is currently on-going. Confidence is not always connected to your relationships and feelings of being loved. Your lack of confidence can be erased by taking steps to renew yourself.
Manly confidence is unpretentious. If you are a man with confidence, when you walk into a room, people will feel it. It is not to be confused with boyish cockiness. Don’t misdefine confidence with being a person who feels he is “God’s gift to mankind.”
Steps to Confidence
Now is the time for proper grooming and dressing. You don’t have to go to a spa once a week; you just need to take time for basic grooming. Learn how to dress appropriately. Shower and shave every day. Never forget to brush your teeth or run a comb through your hair (if you have hair). You will be surprised how many men throw these little things by the wayside. You will be a failure if you forget basic grooming.
Dressing great can boost your confidence. Good dressing is not a socio-economic stigma. You can be groomed and dress decently at any economic class. Soap and water are very cheap. The point is to keep yourself respectful. When you look good, you exude confidence.
Confident men have goals.
They make and keep these goals. Goals are like promises to yourself. If you can’t keep a simple promise to yourself, how can you possibly have confidence? Make a goal and accomplish it every day, week, or month. If you are a sleeper, make a goal to wake up early. If you are unorganized and just throw your socks on the couch, change. You will increase your confidence by the promises you keep to yourself. As confidence increases, you can set bigger goals. Just make sure you achieve those goals. Achieving goals will boost your confidence even further. Everything starts small.
Nothing is better for confidence like exercise.
You increase your blood flow, feel good, and hormones are released that actually boost your confidence. You don’t need to go to a gym to start exercising, although his is a great confidence builder. Find an exercise routine online or in a man’s magazines that gets you up and going. Do it!
Learn something new every day; find a new skill.
Confident men are constantly learning about themselves and what they can do. They are adding to their repertoire of things they can do. Learn a new skill to show yourself and others that you can adapt to anything that comes your way. There are thousands of skills you can acquire. Think about something you have always wanted to do or learn. Get to work on it. Do you want to learn martial arts? Do it! If you want to fix your own car, go to a library, check out repair shops, or become an apprentice to a new skill. The trick is just to do something. Round yourself out. Don’t be a stick in the mud.
Write down all your past successes.
Go back as far as you want. Think of the times when you were successful and on top of the world. These don’t have to be earth-shattering successes, but events that gave you a blast of confidence. Realize that you are not always a screw-up. When you are looking for an esteem boost, whip out your journal and read your success stories.
Be a tightwad.
Sounds counterproductive, and people hate tightwads but build on what you have today. When you have a bit of money in the bank, you can feel more confident that you are a success, can handle emergencies, and are responsible. You are confident. If you live from paycheck to paycheck, you are always stressed and downtrodden. Get rid of the paycheck mentality and develop a net worth mentality. In other words, don’t live for just the paycheck, but live for what life gives you. Be a man and weather the storms. Live like you are wealthy, and this doesn’t mean spending like you are rich.
Don’t totally ignore popular culture, but pick and choose the best parts of today’s generation.
Still, follow the adage to “Be yourself. Do what suits you the best.” Follow the guidelines you learned as a child. If you had no mentors when you were a child find someone who is confident, calm and down to earth. Learn tips and tricks from them and discuss values. You can always start with your local denomination. Find a male role model.
Look at life as an adventure.
Find ways to bring adventure into your life. Be reasonable, however. Don’t engage in extreme sports just because it’s cool, but do something worthwhile. Get a rise out of your job, your home life and your hobbies. Find ways to be more effective in your work. Add an adventure to your job.
Keep your sense of adventure as an adult. Adventures add interest, challenge and excitement to your life. Keep your personal growth and confidence high by trying new things and being proficient in some of them.
Live in the present with all our ability.
Squeeze what you have here and now for all it is worth. Meaning is found in the present since the past is gone, and the future is indeterminate. “Savor the moment, for it may be the last.” Exude confidence that you live in the present know what’s at stake and are working toward the future. A confident man knows where he is going.