You now think that without a doubt it is one of the toughest aspects of the life to balance. If you are devoting too many hours to your family and personal pleasures, your career will suffer. On the other hand, if you are spending more than 12 hours per day on your career, without preparing your family for it, chances are that your personal life will break apart and that will affect your business also.
Is there a way to have both perfectly balanced?
There’s always a way.
For a starter you need to change the way you look at this issue. You need to understand that this is not an alternative to start with. Personal and professional have nothing to do with each other. That’s the bottom line.
Trouble starts when people start complicating these two thinking that they really do have something to perfectly balance. It is essentially the core of the problem because you are trying to fight an enemy who is not even there. Keep that in mind.
First of all, if you are serious about your career, your personal hobbies and things you used to do on your own every day are things of the past. That leaves you with family. And family will always be there for you, no matter what.
Most will point finger in spouse. And that is just pure bullshit. Pulling excuses like those are nothing more than hiding the fact that you are still not determined enough about your business future.
Your wife wants security above anything else. And even though she feels lonely from time to time, knowing that she doesn’t have to worry about money any more will be a powerful motivator for her.
Of course this doesn’t mean that you will neglect your family. Far from that. You will bring them even more fun and pleasure now when you have financial stability and resources on your disposal. Resources that didn’t exist before.
Will she nag? Of course she will. Didn’t she use to nag before about every little thing?
Will she divorce you? Highly unlikely because it is against her innate instincts. Those instincts are telling her that no matter what you are the one to stick with. How many businessmen are divorcing? And we are talking about those who started with practically nothing while being married in that point of time. Not many because their wives experienced scarcity and they don’t want something like that to happen again.
So from your current perfective, you primary goal now is to take even more responsibility for your family. You are the man and it is expected from you. After all, your family is one of the main reasons why you are pushing so hard isn’t it?
Forget about the balance. It’s bullshit. Illusion. You don’t pick one, you take both.
It is irrational to even consider choosing between two positive options whatever they might be. You always go for both. It would be like having a billiard pool in your garage and scooter in front of it and then choosing one. Why? You already have both. All you need to do to keep them is to maintain both properly.
You see? No alternative.
Even if you are in a startup phase and spending 16 hours per day, 7 days a week in your office or garage to make that first step, it’s basically same situation.
But there is something you should avoid which is done by most and that’s why we have an illusion of alternative between private and professional. You have to avoid destruction of the boundary between work and family.
When you work, you work. No bullshit, no skipping classes, just 130% work. You are the man and you can do it.
Once you exit your professional environment, game changes. You are a great husband, caring father and good friend. It will charge your batteries. If you bring your work home every single day, shit will hit the fan because you will lose one thing that has the ability to relax you. So make sure to separate it.
While we are on the subject, make sure to spend at least one day every month being a hard ass hedonist. Go golfing or in a bar, let it act as a relief valve. You need it otherwise you’ll burn out in no time.
Just remember: there is no alternative. You already have both. It’s an illusion.