Then we have a just a right
By the way, we met with Shonda in a beach bar, down at Mallorca (Spain, EU), just so you wouldn’t question our precision in describing her body and raw sensuality.
It was 11.15 a.m.
Was praying for a bit of a wind night before and God has granted me that wish. There was just enough of breeze to mess with her long curly hair while she was approaching me. Swear to God; it was just like one of those Baywatch scenes. You get that well-known sense in the lower abdominal region and instant need for some refreshing drink, just to be able to open your mouth.
Sexy, long-legged and pretty tall, black woman was coming my way, smiling and waving to me. Life couldn’t be better in that moment. And, as she was nearing my spot, the view on that perfect
When she reached for my hand to shake it, you couldn’t miss those perfectly manicured long nails coated with the pink color. Now, if that doesn’t tell you much, picture the dark, oiled,
I stood up before she approached the table to help her with the chair and give her a nice flower bouquet.
“Hey Shonda, thank you for meeting with me.”
“No problem, was thrilled anyway when Rick called telling me that you guys are interested in an interview. I trust you have some pretty intimate questions prepared, judging by the purpose of this interview. Am I right?”
“Yeah, we’ll try to cover everything from the step #1, to teach our interracial dating novices and all those white men seeking black women how to find, meet and date such a beauty.” Why not giving a shot and opening
“Nice. Let’s do it then.” She took a zip of her morning cocktail, took off her sunglasses and looked straight in my eyes. Now, I am a guy who got used talking with breathtakingly astonishing women but Shonda was something else, believe you me.
“OK, for a starter, where a white man can find a black woman in a shortest period of time? What is the best interracial match-making method that you know of?”
“Honestly, and don’t laugh now, interracial dating sites,” she winked at me and continued, “While I had been meeting guys directly in past, recently, I’m a fan of interracial dating sites. Being a black woman seeking white men only, it turned out to be the easiest — and arguably the safest — way to meet men.”
It didn’t come as a surprise to me at all. When you do what I’ve been doing, you know trends, and in this matter, trend is simple – interracial dating sites. Just a perfect place for white men seeking black women.
“You’re referring to online dating site such as Black Diamond Dating for example?” Sometimes, you just need to play dumb…
“Yeah, as the matter of fact, when you already mentioned it, I have met with few white men on BDD.”
“I hope it was a great experience, even though, none of them lasted for long, at least judging by your response.”
Cute waitress came along to bring another round of drinks. It was tremendously hard not to escort that piece of ass with the eyes, but gentleman never looks at another women while sitting with one. And I guess Shonda noticed that because, as the young waitress was turning around and leaving our table, Shonda was so freakin’ obviously expecting me to turn my head in that direction that she couldn’t control her satisfaction when I didn’t do what she expected.
That’s the lesson my dear hunters. Never look at another ass while talking with a woman. Control yourself, and you’ll amaze her. Believe you me.
“Well…in all fairness, not exactly. At least not for me.” Her facial expression suddenly changed and I regret asking that stupid question. To quote a piece from Harper Lee’s instant success, To Kill a Mockingbird, “Never, never, never, on cross-examination ask a witness a question you don't already know the answer to…”
“There was that one guy,” Shonda continued, “in his 40s, good looking, who taught I was a hooker he could just pick up, push $50 and fuck on a backseat of his sedan. Trust me, you really don’t expect something like that to happen.”
You simply can’t avoid those assholes who are ruining it for the rest of us. Swear to God, I’d like to be close when something like this takes place just to send a message. Have no problem spending 1-2 in maximum security and paying couple of grands in fees and fines.
“And then, there was this other guy, who was one of those fetish hunters. Guy was so seriously disturbed that I had a hard time getting rid of him. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen such a look on man’s face. It was like he wanted to skin me off and roll over in it. Just sick.”
“But I sincerely hope you had some positive experiences also?” Was doing my best guys, to correct the overall image of men in online dating game.
“Sure. As the matter of fact, the guy I’m seeing for quite some time now, dropped me a short and sweat message on BDD and hooked me up like no one before. Can you believe it?” This was the moment when she crossed her legs but in that Sharon Stone’s fashion if you know what I mean. At least it looked like that to me.
“OK, let’s focus on him. Clearly, he knows how to attract black woman’s attention. What’s his secret? C’mon. Share some inside information.” I tried to tell it as a joke just to relax her even more. Although, Shonda is the type of woman who just don’t give a fuck. Totally loose and relaxed, woman just kept smiling and crossing those long, black, oiled legs. Brazilian depilation, 100%! It came to the point where I was praying to God Almighty that nothing forces me to get up from my chair. I shit you not.
“Well, unlike the others, who seem to think that some sleazy message and over-tweaked profile can fool someone, Elijah, and I quote, ‘Used this unlikely opportunity to invite me over for an early breakfast he’ll prepare for two of us, down at the beach, to experience unlikely scenery of rising Sun’, and that was it. For some reason, I don’t why to be honest, he got me thinking.”
Smooth talker that Elijah, isn’t he?
“I said, wotta hell, it’s a breakfast on a public place. Nothing bad can happen. And if he’s any good in cooking, I might have some good time. And I had, trust me. We spent three hours, getting to know each other after experiencing, what can only be described as, breathtaking sunrise. He was right about that. I’ve never seen something like that.”
“So, basically, unexpected type of message, cooking skills, and unlikely romantics? Is that it?”
“Yeah, I believe it was that.” She started to smile loudly, making those boobs to bounce up and down, which only made it harder for me to focus.
“But from the perspective of a black woman who seeks for and date white men, what do you think acts as the deal breaker when dating black women?”
“Well, for a starter, and this is not just me, I hate when guy starts by saying how I’m the most beautiful black woman he saw or met. It’s obvious that he’s a fetish seeker and/or someone with strong racial biases. Otherwise, he wouldn’t even think of using that ‘black’ adjective. I’d be a woman same as every other he met. But, by attributing me in any way, he clearly has at least some prejudices about races.”
“What else?” I was persistent to extract as much as possible from her.
“Another thing I don’t really appreciate is when guy start listing ‘other black people he knows.’ I mean, c’mon. What’s that all about? It’s clear that he’s insecure or immature, or have some issues with races. Interracial dating is not for anyone. And I mean it.”
And she’s right about that. Too many guys are trying to abuse online interracial dating site to fulfill their fetish for black skin or to experiment with the new things only to have something to brag with later on.
“Oh yes, there’s one thing that cracks me up like nothing else. It’s not that serious; only funny. You know, when white man starts using brotha from da hood kinda lingo. I mean, c’mon, not every black woman uses ‘Oh no you didn’t’ style. I have an advanced university degree for instance…in English literature. You can only imagine how that sounds to me, right?”
There it was again, that smile and leg crossing. Wasn’t sure if she was trying to seduce me or was it just her thing. Be it as it may, I was horny as hell.
“What attracts you to white men? Why black women like white men in general?”
“That’s the tough one Stephan. “ She made that ‘now-I’m-a-little-shy-girl kinda face. “I do like to play with the hair though.”
It was a bad moment to say something like this. I was just about to swallow the olive (yeah, I like before-noon martini from time to time, so fucking what?!) when she said it and damn olive decided to take the d-tour down the lungs. It’s hard to laugh and prevent choking in the same time, trust me. Luckily, I managed to save my dignity. Olive got back on the right track.
“What do you mean ‘to play with the hair’?” I asked laughing, thinking about the “other” hair, if you know what I’m talking about. Not for a second did I think that she was in fact referring to:
“You know, you white guys have such a soft hair and I just love playing with it. Try mine. C’mon try it!”
I couldn’t believe this. She actually wanted me to grab her hair. Was that a good morning or what?
“Ah yes, I know what you mean now. Beautiful hair though.” And I wasn’t over exaggerating. In difference from white woman’s hair, Shonda’s long, curly hair was hard to penetrate with fingers. It just makes you wondering what would it feel like if…you know…
“Elijah has that blond, long, soft hair and it feels almost orgasmic going through it with my fingers. I swear, that man spends much of his free time with his head in my lap.”
Heart attack was nearing because the image in my head when she said that was a classic porn. Not even near to what she was thinking.
“So hair…who would have thought…” I tried to look cool, swear to God.
“Nah, I’m kidding. It is funny but that’s not something that will trigger desire in black woman when she sees a white man. Take you for example. You have that army type of haircut and I still find you attractive.”
I mean come oooon. Are you trying to kill me here woman!?
“Well, same here Shonda. I believe we’ll continue this interesting conversation over dinner. How about 8.30? I know just a perfect quiet place.” Tried to use the Elijah Method here and see what happens.
“It’s a date.”
No worries, I’ll tell you the rest of the story and I won’t hide any details. Let’s just say that she gave us some pretty useful hints about what to do and what to avoid when dating a black woman. But there’s more to that story. A whole lot more if you know what I mean. So stay tuned for a sequel!