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This is Why You Should Never Use the Forbidden Word

There are some times when the best thing to do is to just shut the hell up. Also, there are terms and words that you should never ever use. Well… maybe if you are in for a rough ride filled with yelling and the possibility of a guided projectile aimed directly at your head.

But let’s say that you see adrenaline sports through bungee jumping or racing, not through avoiding ashtrays and plates.

PMS – state of mind, so complex, so frustrating for both of you but also something inevitable. You cannot avoid it. You have to live with it.

First let’s see why women have their menstrual period. This will blow your mind because what you thought was the reason is not.

When Eve ate the apple and offered a piece to Adam, God got so angry that he put the beam of light over her and told her that she and every of her female descendants will bleed for the rest of the time. Eve, all frightened, asked: ”Can we agree on monthly installments maybe?”

And that’s why women have a menstrual cycle and why they feel like they’re on a rollercoaster of emotions few days before.

OK, a little fun doesn’t hurt anyone. After all, it’s hard to imagine that a woman will read this how-to guide.

The main problem – as you could establish by yourself – is the total absence of emotional control. Emotions range from loud yelling, possible insulting to gentle and warm feelings when all she wants is a little hug or a kind word.

In theory, this looks great. OK, you hold your horses for a while and that’s it. Nooooo. She will track you down and find you. She will target you. You will get a piece of her mind.

Why?

Did you change the toilet paper? Are you doing it at all? What about the garbage? Is the bag almost full? If it is, take it out because soon all hell will break loose.

You have to understand that during those days, when she’s suffering from PMS, she feels ugly, fat, hungry and without any kind of control over her body which drives her crazy. Her senses are sharp. She can hear, smell and see everything.

And she will notice the empty toilet paper holder. She will smell the garbage. Maybe she won’t react at first but as the day progresses, accumulation of mixed feelings and the inability to control them will explode. “IS IT SO FREAKIN’ HARD TO TAKE THAT GOD DAMN TRASH OUT? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? ARE YOU ALL MORONS? DON’T YOU USE TOILET PAPER? YEEES, YOU WILL BRING YOUR MOBILE WITH YOU BUT NOOOO; GOD FORBIDS THAT YOU WOULD MOVE JUST A BIT AND CHANGE THE GOD DAMN PAPERGET AWAY FROM ME! LEAVE ME ALONE!

Where you’re going? Get back here. Hold me. That’s right. That feels good.

You can picture your role in this.

OK, you have some weird principle about taking out the garbage or changing the toilet paper. You have the line there and will not cross it no matter what!

But why in a God’s name would you look at her and tell her: ”Oh, you’re PMS-ing.

Do you really want to die?

All she wants and resents is actually pretty simple: why God isn’t a woman?

Because if God would somehow be a woman, men would have a preprogrammed protocol for these moments. Men would know what kind of tampons and sanitary napkins she prefers for any occasion and would always bring the extra-large chocolate along with the hygiene products. Men would concentrate on her in her time of suffering and learn how to help. We do know how to fly a space shuttle, don’t we?

In the end, just as she will remember every fail and revoke the sex rights, she will remember that you tried to make it as easy for her as possible when it counts most. Remember that. She will. 

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