Before we jump to what’s going through her mind a few moments before she reaches the seismic orgasm, see if you can answer what’s 20 out of 43200?
43200 minutes is the total amount of minutes in one single month. Add additional 1440 for months with 31 days. But what about those 20? How that number fits anywhere?
It is the total amount of minutes your wife is fully “devoted” to you during those 43200.
From those 20, she is really into the sex with you only during – and watch this – 96 seconds.
You think that’s the problem? We haven’t even scratched the surface yet.
During these 96 seconds, you have exactly 15 seconds to drive her over the edge!
How’s that for a fact of the marital life?
To bring you this problem in a perspective it would be like flying a helicopter and try shooting the fast moving ant with an arrow from 2000 feet altitude during windy weather.
So basically, from 2.593.200 seconds what is one 30-days month, you have only 15 seconds to satisfy her needs at least once when she really wants it.
Imagine her disappointment when you miss it!
Ok, before we jump to the core of this, let’s see
What’s going through her mind during those 96 seconds while she is moving her ass in a rhythm of your tongue
Well, there is A LOT going on so we’ll stick with the majors.
0-15 sec. – “Finally. Had to wait for the entire month for him to get his shit together and do his job! Hope he’ll do it properly. Last time wasn’t his best performance.”
16-18 sec. – “God, I hope the kids won’t walk in on us.”
19-23 sec. – “Should I swallow [funny how this word sounds to you, right?] my pride and blow him this time? Naah, I did it 6 months ago. He could get used to it.”
24-35 sec. – “Hmmm…the color of these drapes don’t really go with the color of the walls. What was I thinking back then? They should be pink goddammit.”
36-44 sec. – “I wish I could just get the courage to tell my dad…hope he won’t miss often this time…yeah…last time he got carried away. It felt like a dog’s been licking my crotch.”
45-52 sec. – “Uh, he’s got a new bald spot. My mother was quite annoying today. Wonder what that bitch from the office is talking about me behind my back. I should drop some weight.”
53-57 sec. – “Seriously, that color? Really? What the fuck girl?”
58-69 sec. – “Mmmm, this feels good…he will get it right this time. Noooo, dumbass! That’s the wrong fucking spot, you idiot! Get back there! Aaaaaah…niiiceeeee.”
70-77 sec. – “Maybe I need a new haircut. And makeup also. Uuuh should get those shoes. That mini skirt looks pretty sexy…should get it also.”
78-81 sec. – “Oooooh yeees, this girl is going shoopiiiiing sooon!”
81-88 sec. – “Ooooooohh yeeees…yes…Am I too loud? Yeeees…that’s it…don’t stop…don’t stop…almost there!”
88-92 sec. – “I can feel it. God, don’t let him stop now or miss it, pleaseeeee! Yeeees…yes…it’s coming…uuuuh this feels sooo goddamn greeeeaaaat!”
92 – 96 sec.
“%$&&$/#%#:_%#()&$”!”#%&%/$(&($%”$&%/$%/$%($%):;!
Congratulations, dumbass. You did it right this time.
Yes, we know you have sex more than once a month. This is about those rare moments when she is in the mood for it, not you. You are in the mood every couple of seconds, for God’s sake.
Is there a way to “improve” her score?
Of course.
You see, you are not the only one under the stress. She is a human being also and on top of everything she’s got children and you.
While the kids are something she deals with ease, you, my friend, present a serious issue.
And the list of complaints is impressive:
- Beer-breath
- Socks during sex
- Inappropriate language
- Didn’t notice all the work she has done
- That disgusting belly in front of you
- The smell of your sweat
- Razor-sharp beard while her skin is sensitive
- Obsession with her boobs while your focus should be elsewhere
- Wrong fucking bouquet of flowers for Woman’s Day, St. Valentine’s Day, Anniversary, Birthday, her mother’s birthday
- And billions of others annoying little things she obviously missed when you two started
She just doesn’t give a fuck if vice versa applies. Because we all know one fact: when you were walking down the aisle, she looked stunning. Next day, she gained 40 pounds! Where the fuck did she hide it?
She just doesn’t care about any of that stuff.
It’s not about her. It’s about you and your willingness to start taking a better care of yourself and maybe, just maybe you will start impressing her again.
That will improve the score. Beer belly won’t. And, perhaps you should refresh your knowledge about what turns women on.
