One is when you wake up in your 30s and other is when you lose your mother. Incredibly, nothing can compare to these. You get married, have children, great career opportunities and shifts, hell, some of us spend some good time in war and nothing comes even close to these two events.
30 is a breaking point. Either you’ll snap out of it and move ahead or you’ll stay where you are. In twenties we are all still boys who love to mess around and not to take anything seriously. That morning when you wake up and become aware of the fact that the number 3 is now in a lead, something just snaps.
You start rewinding and reviewing your life to that point and in difference from that contagious enthusiasm that reigned over your life up to that particular morning, you only focus on negative parts. You start to analyze every mistake you’ve ever made to that day.
You did that even before you reached 30 but back in those days you didn’t draw practical conclusions and haven’t learned anything significant from them. Now it’s different. You dissect every little wrong move you have ever made and start connecting dots. It’s the ultimate auto psychoanalysis and those of us who are good in profiling start to observe the life and the surrounding environment with a different set of eyes.
Suddenly, everything matters. Things you didn’t give a shit about before now wage importance. The way you dress. The way you look. The way you act. The way you are thinking shit through. You even start controlling your behavior to some extent just to change the perspective of others toward you. You are realizing that playtime is over and it’s time for the big league. And the big league rules are much different.
You know now why your executives or commanders weren’t taking you seriously. It’s because you didn’t strike them as someone responsible. Always laughing and messing with everybody, you appeared more like a little boy than a responsible member of the society.
This is why no man should be allowed to play the money game before reaching 30 and after he had deep and profound experience with the real world. After he feels the misery of famine and threshold of starvation. After he experiences the devastating effect of not having the primary means of life. After he saw his wife secretly crying in the middle of the night in a dark corner of the room just because he made a stupid, reckless call about some investment and dragged everybody in debt.
Only then, the man is slowly becoming someone who can be entrusted with responsibility. Even those who became independent in their earliest age are experiencing this special threshold.
And then, when everything starts to fit right in; right where it’s supposed to be, you realize that you have only a matter of days before your mother leaves forever. All this time you were too occupied to spend more time with someone who brought you to this world, nurtured you and made sure you have everything you need until the day you leave the nest. Even afterwards, she’s always there for you. And it doesn’t really matter if you two were getting along just fine or did you fight all the time. That bond is unbreakable.
No matter how tough and hardcore you are when mother passes away something breaks. It’s the next level.
You grieve for a while and become ever more determined to make something out of yourself. You are evolved for the second time.
Morning of 30 made its part in your self-development, but this is a critical moment if you are still in your full operational strength.
You were a cocky bastard from your early age and particularly in your twenties but this time it is different. Now, when your mother is gone and you are still relatively young and full of energy, you are a calculative cocky bastard. A man who is bursting with confidence and may be described as arrogant but in fact he is a mean bastard knowing exactly where he’s going. The one who knows how the game should be played and the one who can predict shit before it hit the fan. The one that knows no limits.
It takes these two to create that one. It’s not the rule but it does happen quite often whether we admit it or not.