Charisma is crucial to all your relationships, professional and personal alike. It’s what makes you likable. Makes people want to be around you. And it’s what encourages people to help and support you.
If you want people to recognize your worth and develop long-lasting relationships, you must master the art of charisma. What it’s not is bullying or manipulation. Charisma is positive. It’s personal development that draws people closer to you because you are worth being around.
Charisma is all about how you make other people feel.
Charisma is all about how you make other people feel. But to make the most of your charisma, you must first look inward and determine your own motivations. Maybe you want to attract a strong, beautiful woman to your life. Or maybe you’re working to make a big pitch for your company. Or maybe you just need to build a stronger circle of friends to spend your drinking and game-watching time with.
The most important thing is that you have the right motivation. Charisma is used by more corrupted types, but it never works for long. If you’re being motivated by something less than honorable, people will sense there is something dishonest behind your actions. Charisma requires being genuine, you want to portray who you really are. So where to begin? There are two big things to target early on: your conversation and your body language.
When you’re talking to people, you want to make them feel special. It’s not very difficult: be interested in them. Yes, there are going to be some stories people tell you that you couldn’t be less interested in. But be an active listener anyway. Ask questions. Make comments that actually relate to the story. Don’t rush to tell your own story the moment your conversation partner stops to take a breath. And when it is your time to talk, believe in what you’re selling.
Charisma requires honesty so you are easily believed and better draw people to you. The idea is to put people at ease with who you are and what you promote. If you’re not a strong speaker, there are books, seminars, and organizations that exist entirely to help you gain control over your speech. But the part that really matters, and the part that can be the hardest, is truly listening to others and getting them to understand that you really care about the same things they do.
The other starting point is body language. It’s true that there seem to be endless lists of postures and gestures that make impressions on the people you’re around (conscious and subconscious). For someone who is new to understanding body language, it’s an intimidating subject. There are some big ones to focus on for a beginner. Handshakes should be firm. No limp fishes and no bone-crushers. It shows respect and confidence at just the right level. Keep your torso squared toward the person you’re talking to. It shows you’re open to them. Don’t cross your arms or else they’ll think you’re disagreeing with them. And don’t fidget too often or else you risk looking bored. And pay attention to other people’s posture for the same signals so you can adapt what you’re saying to regain their attention. Body language isn’t an exact science. But if you can master the basics, you’ll see people responding better to you and you’ll generally feel more confidence because you know you’re projecting what you want.
Improving charisma is a life-long art.
Improving charisma is a life-long art. There is much to do beyond these two building blocks, but they will give you a strong start to attracting the type of people you want in your life.