Dating Relationships

8 Things You Need to Do While Kissing Her

Kissing her
Written by Charlie Greene

We’ve all been there; a date goes amazing, you’re ready to dive into the next step… you lean in to kiss her and all of a sudden, she won’t return your calls. Chances are, if this has happened to you, you’re a terrible kisser. Most men, don’t want to admit that they are lacking in the intimacy department, but for most men, the desire to imitate porn or other kinky scenes from movies doesn’t come off the same way you’re intending. In fact, you’re probably so turned on that you’re not even thinking about how it’s feeling for her—which can be a problem as women are visual and emotional creatures.

To help you score in the make out department, here are eight things you need to do the next time you kiss her:

Pause and hesitate

There’s nothing a woman likes more than a man who wants to consider what he’s going to do before he does it. This includes taking a few breathers before reacting on impulse. By stopping a moment, you’ll be leaving her wanting more and second guessing what you’re going to do to her. The result is a more passionate kiss and a more breathless lady.

Use a Little Tongue

There is nothing worse than a man who tries to shove his entire tongue down your throat – so try to refrain from getting too excited. Make sure you take your time tasting her mouth, but don’t be so eager that you jump in to a passionate kiss right off the bat. Use your tongue to trace along the outside edges of her lips, encouraging her to open the mouth – but don’t ever force your tongue in. If she’s hesitant, don’t push your luck – some people aren’t spit-swapping enthusiasts.

Keep your first kiss simple

The last thing you want to do is over-power your date when you’re kissing her the first time. Take things slow and keep your willpower in check. As a general rule, keep your hands away from any kinky areas like her breasts, ass or pussy – you don’t need her thinking that you just want a piece (even if you do) when you first make a move.

Make her lean in for the next kiss

As a general rule, women like to chase; they want what they can’t have and they want to have to pursue men –

Kissing her

Photo: Shutterstock

just as much as we like to pursue them. Try to hold back after you’ve made a first move and see what happens. Start by leaning in and staying approximately an inch from her lips. Talk to her gently and whisper complements in her ear. She’ll practically be dripping in anticipation – which encourages her to make a move.

Build up to the first kiss

So many times, a man is quick to try and make a move – instead of just letting it happen. Try to spend a few dates with her before you make your first move. If you find her too tempting, kiss her forehead or her cheek. Give her big, tight bear hugs that press her body against yours. By holding off her first kiss, you’ll help build anticipation for when it does happen – which is ultimately the biggest step in seduction.

Learn where to kiss and when

If you’ve been dating a while, try to revamp the spice in your relationship by adding a few unexpected kisses when she’s not expecting it. For instance, if she’s cooking supper, try wrapping your arms around her and kissing the back of her shoulders. If she’s reading a novel, give her a quick kiss on the forehead or cheek. The idea here is to build intimacy throughout the day, instead of giving it all in one shot.

A kiss can be more than just lips and tongue

Take a quick note from the thousands of romance novels on the market – do they ever just “smash lips and tongue”? No, of course not. They caress, they fondle, the embrace and rub. Use your hands to your advantage when you’re kissing her by skimming your fingers against the small of her back. Pull her whole body into a kiss when you’re trying to add a bit of spice. Pull her chin up to meet yours when you’re in the middle of an intense moment. Women love to feel physical contact when they’re with someone – use your hands to your advantage.

Throw her over the edge

A great kiss is mixed with passion, tongue, teeth, hands and more excitement than when you lost your virginity. Take a moment to consider what you want with her. Imagine all the dirty, kinky and rude things you’re going to do with her—get really into it before you make a move. While you might need to slow things down and enjoy the moment, there’s nothing wrong with planning out what she looks like riding your cock to get a little excited. The more excited and turned on you are kissing her, the more into it, she’s going to be as well.


As a general rule of thumb, you don’t have to be rock hard when you go to make the first move, but make sure you’re solid enough that she can feel you through your pants and through her outfit. If she can’t, she’s going to think you’re either small, not into her or worse – not able to get sexually aroused when she’s around.


While these aren’t the only things you need to remember when you’re trying to be smooth and enticing in the bedroom, they will definitely help you get a solid handle on your relationship between the sheets. A woman will base her entire relationship on the first kiss. If she doesn’t feel sparks or the slightest bit of emotional attachment, you’re better off making out with your dog – because she’s not going to bother giving you her everything if she doesn’t feel it.

About the author

Charlie Greene

Our sex expert, Charlie, is a long-time professional in the adult industry, specialized in screenplays for several major production houses. She is direct, have zero tolerance for weak and insecure men, loves to get in bed with another woman from time to time, and consider herself borderline nymphomaniac. Enjoys writing explicit sex stories that are mostly based on her own experiences. A loud advocate of sex toys and sexual liberties. Enjoys kink sex and admits to having one particular fetish that makes men addicted to her.

"Every time I lie on my bed to write a new script or a sex story, I get all wet. If there's no man around at that moment, can guess how it ends."