Even though we moved from the times of segregation laws and racial intolerance, many are still wondering about why black women date white men.
It appears that, while we have evolved beyond this particular separation, years of exposure left their mark.
Our society is still not clear about this subject and many are questioning motives for this kind of interracial relationship.
For the vast majority of folks out there, black women white men combination still represents some exotic relationship and seems rather strange.
And we don’t like strange. We put out the defense on when we stumble upon the strange and relatively unknown.
With that in mind, we have decided to provide with the thorough answer to this question. In other words, to explain this subject like it has never been explained before, we’ll use the cutting edge neuroscience and human behavioral studies.
A relationship between a black woman and a white man might occasionally seem as something motivated rather than purely emotional.
It’s just an illusion. Certain mechanisms, triggered by the closest social environment, do, in fact, influence the decision of black women to date white men.
But that doesn’t imply the motive-driven intention. It’s just the matter of our nature as a species.
Be advised that some of the following reasons and corresponding explanations may appear borderline offensive but we can’t really change the reality of the things – no matter how skillful we are in our endless efforts to disguise that reality and present it as something that it’s basically not.
Let’s start with the most common reason for this interracial relationship.
Pure emotional attraction is the number one reason why black women date white men
There’s nothing profoundly different between how some black woman observes both white and black men. It’s just that she found this particular white man attractive, in one point in time.
Something simply “clicked” in her limbic parts of the brain, where all those innate urges, instincts and emotions reside.
There’s no speech or logic in that part of the brain. It’s more of a primitive one, originating from the dawn of our species.
Simply put, the sum of stimuli, up to that single moment in time, triggered just the right cocktail of “mating” chemicals.
Oxytocin levels peaked when she saw him, smelled him, touched him or spoke with him.
It’s the brain chemistry that did the job, no matter how unusual that may appear since only 2 months ago, that same black woman was dating a black man.
It’s also reasonable to believe that the majority of the men she dated in past were black rather than white.
Some folks are having real difficulties understanding this.
Are you among them?
Well, let’s say that you perhaps have some doubts. Otherwise, why would you be reading this in the first place, right?
Let’s see if we can induce some additional clarity into this, shall we?
Try to answer the following question:
Why do you love your partner?
Can you provide with the rational answer? Can you actually “list” the reasons?
If you can, then you don’t “love” someone from the perspective of that innate yet abstract emotion.
Because the biochemical mechanism that creates the sensation of mutual attraction and the actual physical pain when you “miss” someone, resides in a part of the brain that doesn’t contain speech and logic. These are the features of your frontal lobe – the latest evolutionary advance of the humankind.
Love, on the other hand, is an automatic emotion, the one you simply cannot control or explain with logic.
You can refrain from going to the toilet, eating tasty food, drinking cold water during a hot summer day, having sex right there on the beach even though there’s no one around, and many other essential things, but when love hits you, there’s no way to dodge that bullet.
That’s why you simply cannot explain what happened in such a short period of time that made you practically “addictive” to that other person!
It was a perfect mixture of chemicals, released by your brain after certain stimuli.
If the same occurs in that other person’s brain; then you have two people in love. Skin color, height, weight, facial and body appearance, financial situation, place of residence, history – nothing bears any importance in triggering this mechanism.
But then again, how likely it is for the black woman, raised in a predominantly black social environment, to fall for the white dude? Isn’t there something wrong with that?
Unfortunately, there is.
Social stereotypes are the second reason why black women date white men!
Under the social stereotype, we understand the common societal image black men have, built by those less worthy.
Since ghettos were common, and unfortunately still are, the social environment had shaped the majority to fit in. After all, in men’s world, it all comes down to a simple: whose violence is stronger?
If I’m fearsome and known for using a brutal force to have it my way, there will be a bunch of guys waiting in line to do whatever the hell I want, just to suck up and survive. It’s their defense mechanism, nothing more.
Pretty soon, you had a group of guys, talking funny and wearing more gold than a miner on his way out from the pit. Add guns and criminal activities and you have an environment where nobody respects women but “checks that hood” instead.
Women did their part in this process.
After all, the human brain will adapt to the closest social environment in an everlasting effort to increase the survival odds.
So, along with men and their gangsta’ lifestyle, female gangs, whose members were also known for using the weird and funny ways to express certain dissatisfactions or any other emotion, started emerging like mushrooms after the good rain.
And then you have this cute little girl, who grew up feeling sick and tired of being stereotyped as someone who’s frequently saying, “Oh, no you didn’t!”, or “Bitch, please!”
That girl had only one desperate goal – to detach from that social environment.
She wanted more. She wanted safety and security. She wanted to be accepted for what she truly is and not for what others in her closest social environment are expecting and suggesting.
Where to find that?
In a companionship of the white men!
She, the black woman, who used to spend intimate time with the boyz from da hood, is now dating him, the white men, the guy who knows about the gangs and stereotypes from the movies. Only, he ain’t buying that crap!
The way he sees it, she is the most beautiful girl he has ever met. No other woman, white or not, comes even close. In his mind, only this lovely and the cutest black girl means the world to him. Others are irrelevant.
Your question is only natural: why not simply dating a black man who obviously detached from the stereotype?
It does seem simple when you put it that way and observe it out of the contest, doesn’t it?
There are plenty of extremely successful black men. The stereotypes we were mentioning earlier, are actually caused by the minority.
The mind is changed by the event.
And in case of the black woman, who dates the white man to get away from the stereotype, that event turned out to be a long period of time of frequent, similar stimuli coming from the same type of environment.
After a while, the brain forms a simple memory block: this is not the optimal environment.
So every time she meets the black guy, her brain pulls out that same memory block and she identifies that man with that negative stimuli.
Like a child and the oven. It’s a simple action, triggered by her defense mechanism, that lasts less than a second, yet it’s powerful enough to eliminate that same black man as a viable dating option – regardless of who he might be and how good intentions he has.
He will never “fix” the negative first impression because it’s the power of our central belief system!
For a better understanding of this central mechanism or the set of principles upon which we are living our lives, here’s a simple example:
The group of the like-minded, extreme religious believers resides in a same, isolated environment. The child is born. Everybody is treating the child great. The kid is growing up feeling loved and secured. But all that time, the kid is being indoctrinated to hate every other human being that doesn’t share the religious beliefs of the group.
Once the child is fully grown, it will defend its religious beliefs even if it means making stuff up along the way. He or she will never get along with someone who is questioning the original religious and societal beliefs.
Hence, it’s not unreasonable to think that this is someone capable of assaulting innocent civilians with the deadly force for no good reason.
Only, in the mind of that person, the reason for that monstrosity is clear and actions are justified.
By utilizing yet another process inside our innate defense mechanism called backward rationalization, we are perfectly capable of justifying any kind of action and any kind of response!
All things being equal, but the child is mistreated. It’s been harassed, bullied, beaten, assaulted and insulted frequently or had just been neglected and disrespected from time to time, during the critical period of life, between the age of 1 and the age of 12.
Throughout the entire time of different ordeals, the child is picking up stimuli from the different kind of environment – the one that seems more optimal and favorable for its well-being.
That same child, once it becomes an adult, will seek for the ways to escape that hostile environment! If it has to, it will undergo the series of painful surgical procedures to change its visual appearance!
Is it the rule?
You can always look back into someone’s past and find the clear reason for a specific (even a pathological behavior!).
Everything we do in our early adulthood has its roots in our central belief system that was fully formed by the time we reached the age of 12!
It takes isolation from that original environment and the entire set of new stimuli to change and adapt. In other words, to start thinking differently. That’s the reason why rehabilitation in prisons simply can’t work. It will never work. Because, if you want to wash someone’s brain and reprogram the central belief system, you have to isolate that person from the assumed negative environment! It’s the only way to do it.
Which leads us to the final reason why black women date white men!
Psychological preparation is the final, third reason why black women date white men!
Have you ever noticed how many couples share much of resemblance to one another? When you look at them, they seem more like a brother and sister than a husband and wife.
Do you know that the largest number of marriages include couples — the man and the woman — who lived no more than 6 blocks away from each other, during the extended period of time?
Do you think that Coke (Coca-Cola) is simply that good or does it have something to do with the fact that Coca-Cola Corp. never fails in their marketing efforts?
It’s most likely the optimal balance of both but without frequent and quality commercials, all over the freakin’ place, with the most broadcasted in prime time, that popular beverage would never reach this level of acceptance on all 6 continents.
Because, when you think about it, isn’t it more natural to think about the cold glass of water than on Coke on rocks, when you’re thirsty?
Yet, against all odds and instincts, the majority of people will have the image of a condensed glass full of this aerated, sweet beverage and ice cubes. You can actually hear the sound of carbon dioxide, leaving the glass and vanishing in the air.
That’s the power of psychological preparation, something utilized by the marketing industry to increase sales!
Translated into mutual verbal and non-verbal interaction between human beings, the psychological preparation will change the image (the impression) you have about someone.
For example, stay isolated from the others and be limited to only one other person of the opposite sex, that you wouldn’t normally use to support your bike while you’re shopping, and that same person will start becoming increasingly attractive. Give it some time, and someone ugly as night will become adorable and irresistible.
Knowing this, it’s easy to understand why a black woman, raised in a predominately white environment, will date white men and most likely marry one.
She’s been exposed to this particular stimuli.
Because, as much as we like to observe our own image in a mirror, we do spend the most of our lives looking others while not seeing ourselves.
Thus, the young black woman, raised in a predominantly white environment, will never think twice before dating a white man, or any other for that matter. It’s just that she grew up in the environment where there were only a handful of black guys. The vast majority was made of cocky whites. She was psychologically prepared from the Day 1!
As you could see, there are basically only three reasons why black women date white men. And while one out of these three may seem like something that could potentially indicate some motive or a deviant intention, it’s nothing more than a basic human psychology and standard behavior.
You just need to peel the layers and check what’s inside before you judge someone, that’s all.