Sure you spend some time talking and even go out for a nice dinner from time to time, but if you don’t move away from your town or city, that’s only 50% of the effect.
The trouble with most relationships is a lack of time or will to move away from their place of residence at least once a month. Because as long as you two are in vicinity of your home or accompanied by your children, you cannot relax or express your feelings and opinions correctly.
You will talk about everyday stuff going on in house, work and similar shit, but you won’t discuss what’s truly on your mind. And only that has the power to relight the fire.
The limitations of local restaurant
Perceive “local restaurant” as a metaphor. It’s every place where you are not entirely alone with your partner or where someone knows you and that’s probably every corner of the town or a city where you live.
You do not have essential intimacy to go deep into the subject.
Thus, you’ll talk about same old bullshit and won’t solve shit. When you come home, it’s 50/50 that you two will have sex. So exhausted by forcing yourself to listen about the freaking flowers, her friends, job and what she lived through during her childhood — vice versa applies also — you simply drop down on your bed and fall asleep.
What was the point of your “date”?
The reason why you went out in the first place is to recharge your batteries; both of you. That place you two love so much where “everybody knows your name” is limiting you to argue about the important stuff in your relationship. You are rolling with same old boring subjects while true problems, excitements, ideas and thoughts are staying buried under the sediments of life.
How frequent should you two disappear from the radars
Under the presumption that you do go out for a coffee from time to time, you should pick up your partner, say: ‘fuck you all’, and split at least once a month.
Go far fucking away and don’t come back for 2-3 days. It is doable all right if you put your heart and mind into it. This is even more important if you have started something new in professional sphere.
Having a startup demands immense amount of energy and working hours and if you don’t compensate you’ll burn out soon. When that happens, shit will hit the fan and guess what will explode first?
Yes…your relationship suffers like nothing else when you focus on your career for 12+ hours every day for 7 days a week. Your partner starts to feel neglected, you are on a verge of a nervous breakdown and just a single wrong word in a wrong fucking time acts like a spark in a tank full of kerosene.
To avoid this shit from happening (because there is no good reason for it) make a habit to pack essentials and sail away alone. Let grandma takes care of children, forget about the work and go recharge.
This is emphasized if your career involves creativity and constant advanced brainstorming with problem solving. Just two days per month will refresh your body and your mind.
But what’s most important it will revive your relationship. Trust me when I say: once you develop a habit out of this, your life will improve beyond imaginable.
What is the big secret
It’s connected with the loop of habit. Once you make a habit out of this, your brain will start to anticipate the reward the same day you return from your vacation.
This is under the presumption that you two had a great time first, second and every other time when you were away so make sure to act as a gentleman and to be there for her at all times – you are there with her and for her and vice versa!
Good habits tend to root fast and effectively. Once your brain receives a signal, it will force the routine action to get the reward – dopamine and serotonin high. It happens at both of you.
What is the signal?
Your everyday life! As you are reaching The Day, anticipation will increase and day before your departure you will already start to feel the effects of high.
It is a life changing habit. Make one.