Facebook, Google+ and all other social networks are providing us with the perfect way to express our deepest feelings and opinions like never before. No restraints. No attachments. Just letting everything out at the open.
And driven by the passion and infinite enthusiasm, we can accidentally, unwittingly and recklessly cause tremendous pain to ourselves, people who are close to us and who we don’t even know.
While it might seem provoking and interesting to chat with some girl or a woman, it can accidentally unveil a volcano just waiting to explode.
How’s that possible?
For exactly the same reason you’ve decided to answer her message, she is on a lookout for someone like you. Maybe she’s not aware of it just yet, but give it some time and all hell will break loose.
There is a causal relationship between all the things. Every action has its reaction. Why do you feel the need to chat and laugh with someone you don’t know? Is there something missing from your life now? Married or not, you are looking for something and for the most part, the bulk of these “incidents” are starting entirely innocent, just for fun. The same is true on the opposite side.
It is caused by low emotional intelligence. You can be as smart as possible but if you lack this component, your environment will cause you to burn out and the very first thing will serve as a relief valve – in this case, chats with some stranger.
You don’t pay too much attention at the beginning of it while you should. You should know how to read between the lines and how to recognize potential risk. But it just feels so goddamn good that the logical part of your cognitive behavior is completely shut down. You’re starting to think with the emotional one and ultimately with your dick.
And then comes the breaking moment: She tells you about all the bad luck she experienced during her failed marriage or something like that.
You are a man. You are programmed to react to such a thing. You feel the sudden urge to keep her safe. It’s who we are. Now don’t get the wrong picture, she’s honest. She ain’t playing you in any way. The thing is: she’s unaware of what is happening inside her primitive part of brain.
With every word of comfort to her and judgment to the whole bullshit she went through, she’s starting to get over emotional – same as you. All that time, two of you are admiring each other’s intelligence to make thing even more ironical.
It all happens all too soon for either of you to notice it or to analyze it. It takes time for logic to kick in and you didn’t allow that time to pass.
And then it just explodes! Like a nuclear bomb, blasting everything and anything along the way. You are living with tunnel vision, based on an irrational conclusion that “this is it.”
In the same time, as far as she’s concerned, you are the love of her life, a white knight in shining armor for whom she waited all this time. She wreaks havoc in her life, neglects the kids and fights with her spouse, all because she is certain that you will come to her very soon. She even discusses it with her friends. No matter how hard they try to talk her out of it, she doesn’t listen. All she thinks of is you.
Eventually, you are ready to wreak havoc in your life also, leaving everything behind you and starting again, with the love of your life, a woman you don’t even know.
By the time the logical part of your brain gets involved into this, the damage has already been done. She’s in love and when a woman loves, mountains move. It’s that powerful.
So one night, you start to have second thoughts about the whole situation. You realize that everything is in your head and even if you meet with her, you know that although it will be super intense, it won’t last for long.
Because you two are the same. She probably has someone who is keeping her on the ground because she has the habit to float on a thin cloud.
You love your wife and she loves you. It’s just your personality – from time to time you get carried away. That’s why you married that lovely woman who is now crying in the bedroom, not understanding what is going on, and realizing that her life is breaking apart without any good reason.
You come to realize that you cause suffering to yourself, your wife and that woman you haven’t even met in person.
Damage control kicks in. You need to sort it out because, after all, you have feelings. You are just not aware of the fact that the moment she hears “no”, her heart will break and you will crush her. Just because your dumb mouth opened before you gave yourself some time to think it through.
Never ever make promises that you can’t keep because playing with people’s hearts is a dangerous and evil game. Not that you will do it on purpose, but you do know that you have to play it differently. To be perfectly sure, do not answer that message if you are not ready to walk to the end of the road.
The problem is it is impossible to know until you try it.