Black women-white men relationship was unimaginable only a few decades ago. Men and women who dared to engage in an interracial relationship were risking their lives and even the lives of their family members and friends who supported them.
Luckily, we are seeing the change lately.
Things are finally improving. Not at the desired speed, but improving nevertheless.
Nowadays, 15% of all marriages in the US alone is interracial. Much of that percentage goes to black women-white men interracial relationships.
Many are wondering not only about why black women like white men and vice versa, but also, what is the secret behind the success of their marriages?
White men who prefer black women are clear about one thing: their choice has no alternative. For many of them, only black women are attracting them even at their youngest age.
Fortunately for them, the societal standpoint about interracial relationships is changing; slowly but surely.
The well-known incidents, frequent until only recently, are now isolated events. However, this doesn’t include those famous and rather annoying “looks.”
But it appears that those same “looks” and innate preferences when it comes to the choice of the partner, played the crucial role in black women-white men marriage success.
As you’ll soon learn, there’s a perfectly logical combination of reasons behind the success of this type of interracial relationship.
First, let’s try to answer one frequent question people have when it comes to black women-white men relationships:
Why black women like white men?
There are two potential reasons.
One is innate preference. Nothing should be added here. It’s just a normal thing for a black woman to be attracted to white men.
Another reason is exposure or psychological preparation. In other words, a young girl is growing in the mostly Caucasian environment, being exposed mostly to white men.
The proof for this claim can be found in numerous examples of interracial relationships where a black woman chose her white partner already during the high school. It just happened that the environment didn’t provide with much of an alternative; race related.
Psychological preparation or the fact that you’ve been exposed to certain stimuli has the profound influence on our decision.
For instance, most marriages are made of two people who lived less than 6 blocks away from each other during their childhood and teenage years. That proximity caused frequent contacts and after a while, mutual attraction formed.
This is the reason why you’re getting bombarded with different brands. They are not even trying to make a decent commercial anymore because it’s basically enough to keep you exposed to some recognizable feature of the brand that will allow simple association. Name of the brand, colors, fonts, packages, logos – all works.
What happens after a while? You buy the product that your brain associates with the brand you’ve been exposed to.
It’s the same mechanism — association — that is used in relationships. You’re exposed to me, I’m exposed to you and that fact alone increases the odds of us ending together or at least developing a deeper connection, even on a platonic level.
Naturally, if you are a black woman, raised in the environment where white men are largely prevailing in number over black men, you are prone to develop a deeper connection with the white man than with the black man.
While same applies vice versa, the affection of white men towards black women is not only limited to psychological preparation. Without any doubt in my mind, and based on numerous conversations and interviews, I can claim the following:
Every single white man on this planet finds black women extremely attractive, regardless of his racial standpoints and/or preferences!
It’s simply something inside of every white man. We find black women irresistible. Is it about obvious differences that attract each other? Is it because of the written memory, somewhere in the backs of our brains that we came to be, eons ago, from a black mother?
Nobody can say for sure and we shouldn’t even waste time trying to prove one way or another. It’s irrelevant. What’s important is that black women are triggering the avalanche of emotions in our bodies! And nobody can deny that.
People like to talk about one additional potential reason but it should be considered as extremely racist and insulting. As such, it won’t be mentioned in here. Let’s just say that some folks are questioning the motives – do black women actually like white men based on their true preferences, or are we talking more about some deviant personal interests and agendas?
That has nothing with our subject because that’s another type of relationship. Definitely not the one that will ensure long-lasting and loving matrimony.
It’s that same reflection, coming from the narrow-minded social environment, that creates one of the reasons behind the success of the interracial relationship between a black woman and a white man!
How negative societal reaction on interracial relationships between black women and white men, in fact, strengthens that bond
As it turns out, being isolated helps in certain matters.
That same negative response, interracial couples are receiving from their social environment, forces the couple to become more dependent on each other.
The process of isolation actually strengthens the bond between them because, in their minds, they are alone against the world. They stick together and rely heavily on each other’s support. People outside this tight circle are observed as a potential threat – without exceptions.
Two of them become the safety zone and hardly anyone is allowed in.
But that isolation prevents one other significant and well-known cause for divorces.
We, as a species, are sensitive to other people’s opinion. For instance, the persistent tendency of someone we respect (parents, friends) to make damage to our relationship with words and deeds, will eventually yield results if we don’t move away from that influence.
Since they are largely isolated (even if it doesn’t appear that way), interracial couples are less exposed to that kind of negative influence! Yet another positive effect of this type of isolation, caused by people’s negative view on interracial romance.
The unlikely benefit of white men’s affection towards black women
This is another reason why black women-white men relationships are so successful.
According to testimonies, but also the general statistics, this type of relationship is less prone to adultery. It’s less likely for them to divorce because of marital infidelity.
The reason behind this kind of behavior lies in the men’s preferences when it comes to the optimal partner and general sexual preferences.
His innate affection towards black women is making him less exposed to the influence of white women. He simply doesn’t perceive them similarly attractive.
Same, the majority of black women is not interested in a relationship with white men or any other type of interracial relationship for that matter.
Combined, these two facts have a decisive impact on a sense of marital loyalty at men.
Due to the very nature of the relationship, interracial couples are open-minded
Which means that they can deal with problems with added simplicity. Unlike narrow-minded people, who are limited by their own conservative (narrow) perception of the society and the world we are living in.
Open-minded people look at life through the prism of reality, standing with both feet firmly on the ground, openly challenging the dogma. Their minds cannot be influenced by some petty and/or deviant and largely distorted beliefs and point of views.
This is another reason behind that strong bond between a black woman and a white man – they look at narrow-minded people and their futile attempts with spite and arrogance.
The sole unlikeliness of the relationship itself, adds to the success of the black women-white men marriages
What do you do with the piece of gold you stumbled upon purely accidental?
A) Sell it immediately
B) Hold on to it because you are very aware of the fact that gold doesn’t just drop from the sky?
Same applies to an interracial couple. They are aware of how unlikely their connection really is because both of them were exposed to those same racial dogmas, common in our society, whether we’ll admit it or not.
In their minds, the fact that they stumbled upon each other, pretty much by pure luck, and fell in love, is simply priceless.
Nobody can offer something that will entice him or her to gamble or sell what they have together – the rare gem!
And then, there’s a dynamics…
Contrary to general belief, adultery and financial difficulties are not primary causes of an increasing number of divorces. It’s the routine of life that transforms into the boredom.
Once we fall into a routine, which occurs rather frequently all around the world, we start seeking for the “way out.” Unfortunately, in many cases, we feel that our marriage is choking us. In reality, that cannot be farther from the truth.
The modern societal dogma, where a couple is expected to ensure a steady stream of incomes, actually increases the odds of falling into the routine.
Couples are reluctant to change their professional environment (the dogma of steady job) but also, they are less likely to engage in activities that have the potential to disturb the routine and create new dynamics. In their minds, that engagement may “endanger” the sole “design” of their routine and destroy their comfort zone.
Paradoxically, that same illusion of a safety bubble or comfort zone will eventually turn out to be the reason for the divorce.
It occurs rather fast actually.
After a while, a couple stops communicating because the topics are drained out a long time ago and priorities have changed.
It’s in that moment when men start “searching for something more” or trying to discover the famous “meaning of life,” which eventually ends in disaster.
In reality, all they had to do was to change the dynamics, that’s all.
Change jobs, move away, start the business, do anything that will kill the routine because we are dynamical creatures, built for the move.
Interracial relationships have two advantages in this matter:
- Extremely different backgrounds open door for seemingly limitless communication because it’s virtually impossible to drain out potential topics.
- A negative response, coming from the outside, is making sure that an interracial couple never truly relaxes. The dynamics is always present. Their lives simply cannot fall into a routine. Other people are making sure of that, without even realizing it!
Yes, black women-white men relationships are extremely successful. In fact, no other type of relationship comes even close.
It’s that something positive that emerged from the centuries of cruelty and discrimination. Something good was born eventually, from all that negativity.