1 Blatant Sign That Shows Lack of Confidence that Everybody Can See
It's the most obvious sign that the person you are talking to has some serious issues...
Lack of confidence, if you are not cautious, can be spotted from the mile away by anyone. Therefore, the fundamental purpose of this tutorial is to A) explain the most obvious sign of the low confidence in a person, and B) to show the simplest way to turn the tables and become confident.
You will not ascend by putting down those better than you but by bettering yourself.
That is to say that, if you wanna effectively counteract the lack of confidence, you have to let go of a poisonous rhetoric that is aimed at the person who is, at least in your mind, better than you. Instead, you have to work on yourself to become better than that person.
The analogy is a common husband-wife dispute (read: the fight) when one partner, after exhausting all the arguments, uses every mean available to put down the other partner in a desperate attempt to paint a self-image of a more successful partner in some or every aspect of the marital life.
In some instances, this is a practice rather than an isolated incident and each and every one of us felt it.
SIDE NOTE: Perhaps you wanna check if the time has come to say, Fuck you, honey! I’m outta here!
Consequences of this obvious sign of lack of confidence are mind-blowing
It’s the pure envy speaking. The words are coming from the angry and furious mind that is well aware of the own flaws and lack of any will to progress. As such, when challenged, that person will start delivering insults. You’ll see the teeth snapping in a desperate attempt to bite off the chunk of the flesh just to ascend self for at least the moment.
Does it make him/her feel better and does it eliminate the lack of confidence?
Not in a million years. Because of the chemical consequence in the brain of such a person that is quite devastating.
Immediately after the argument, the person is switching from anger to acute depression.
The awareness of underachievement — when confronted by the achiever — fueled by envy, inhibits serotonin neurotransmitter activation. It’s the hormone that, among everything else, creates a positive self-image and the feeling of proudness.
The reason why there’s no serotonin activation is found in the total absence of dopamine neurotransmitter activation. It didn’t “fire” because nothing tangible or self-satisfying has been achieved. The lame attempt of putting someone down simply can’t generate a long-lasting positive effect.
Hence, the conclusion…
Lack of confidence can be counteracted by keeping the optimal levels of dopamine and serotonin
We’ll use one of the Simon Sinek’s famous analogies to show you how easy it is to achieve such an effect.
You walk through the park and spot the apple tree in a distance. Suddenly, there’s this urge to have an apple. Either because you are, indeed, hungry or just for the sake of the fun, you want nothing more than to pick an apple and eat it.
It’s the moment when your brain released a small “drop” of dopamine in your system. You start to feel excited. Something is pushing you in the direction of that apple tree.
It’s the primary dopamine effect. It acts as the drive, pushing you to achieve something while instantly eliminating any lack of confidence.
With every following step, the brain releases one drop after another but with each having a more powerful effect than the previous one.
When you finally reach the tree and become aware that the juicy, red apple is now within your reach, you feel the overwhelming excitement. The dopamine activation is peaking at that moment. It feels like you achieved something quite amazing.
And when you ultimately take the bite, that’s when the brain fires serotonin, calming you down and making you feel like a king of the world. As the one true alpha.
How to apply this analogy to fight the lack of confidence?
Next time you receive a list of tasks for the day, write them down in the notebook or in the appropriate app.
Every time you complete a task from the list, simply check it or cross it. You will feel the instant dopamine effect. In that moment, your confidence will peak.
It sounds silly, yes, but it’s brutally effective nevertheless.
You see, the result of the dopamine activation that ultimately leads to serotonin release which, combined eliminates any lack of confidence, is absolutely the same if you are climbing the Mt. Everest or picking up groceries in a local deli. Because it’s about the imminent goal you set for yourself and not the difficulty of the goal itself. More difficult the goal is, more milestones (micro-goals) will be and each will produce the same effect once achieved.
What we are trying to say here is that you should put your mind into achieving even the simplest and smallest goals/tasks just to reward your body with the life important dopamine and serotonin.
Yes, make the big deal about it and it will bear importance to you. In other words, getting an apple from the tree that you found on your own and eating it, will remove any lack of confidence on the short-term. The cumulative of many “apples” each day will produce the ultimate rewarding effect and make you ultra-confident.
For more on this subject (read: quick fixes!), you would want to check THIS!